Flibbertigibbet

Back at Work and in a Bad Mood

I'm so leaving early today.

The doctor doesn't even want me at work today, so I totally think I can get away with it.

Anyway, I was going nuts at home, so I had to get out of the house, but it was a total ordeal. The crutches. The cats. The lunch. The bookbag. The mail. The car. The driving with the left foot and trying not to die.

*sigh*

I'm interviewing a potential roommate tomorrow, too.

Woozy

My surgery went fine. Now, I'm at home trying to keep my foot elevated above my heart. This is somewhat tough and it is dreadfully boring to sit at home all day long doing nothing.

Fortunately, I can log into the company network and get some work done -- because I'm a glutton for punishment. Actually, it's because I don't want to have to count this as a day off.

So, anyway... all is well. I'm not dead. The swelling sucks and my memory from the day of the surgery is completely jumbled. Other than that... so far so good.

I'd take pictures for you, but I haven't showered in three days now and my foot really isn't all that interesting since I'm not allowed to take the bandages off.

la la.

Talk to you later!

Guess Who's Getting Scammed

As you all know, I am looking for roommates for my house. I've put ads up all over the place; I don't even remember where.

Well, today I got an email that sounded like a good lead:

I am sarah I am a graduate of Limerick University, UK and work as a professional network engineer. I am currently working on contract for my company sam inc. here in Africa. I am a very dedicated individual who is totally committed to human development, friendly, very trustworthy and value relationship above anything. I love travelling, sporting and enjoy meeting people. I dont smoke but do not mind people who do being around me. I am cool headed and easy going person with no criminal record and like to have a roommate or neighabour who is very responsible and understanding, someone i can really get along with.I saw your advert and i am sincerely interested in the room advertised as i will like to move to as soon as i leave here please i will love to hear from you .thanks

Now, I know British people can't spell and that they do crazy things with punctuation, so I kind of let that go without further pause and I replied:

Hello, Sarah!

I would be very happy to schedule an interview and
tour of the house at your convenience. When would you
be available to come by?

You may reach me by telephone at 123.555.1234

Sincerely
Flibby

(Natch, that's not my phone number.)

My only thought at this point is, "I don't care that you're in Africa, you're not moving into my house without me meeting you first." No alarm bells or anything.

But, then, completely as a joke, I sent the email to a friend of mine being prissy about the spelling and punctuation. (Note to my friends: your friend is a dork.)

And he's like, "Funny you should mention it. That sounds like a scam. Don't give her any money."

And I'm like, "Duh. I don't give people money. She's going to give me money."

But he sends me a link to this article about the Nigerian Roommate Scam. And then I reflect back on Clark Howard who gave the SAME warning.

So, basically, I think my lead is bogus. *sigh*

Update: I got a reply:

Hello, I appreciate your urgent reply a lot am not in the state for now and am 23 years of age i like playing with pets such as cat and dog,i don't smoke and also dont party much Iam cool headed and easy going person. i will want to move in at anytime from now and am okith thw price i will be very happy if you can rent the room to me, am of all the quailities you want and i will want you to know that about filling application that will be the first thing to do immediately i get to the state because i know that it is compulsory ,about the payment i told you that the payment will be made by my ex boss it is my last payment but the amount of the check is $3950.

when you get it you will deduct the payment of one month and you will send the remaining funds to my flight agent so that i can use it to book my flight to get the check you will have to reply me with your fullname,address and phone number please get back to me as soon as possible and i will be vary happy if you can send me some pics of the room.thanks
Regards,
sarah.

Yeah. Shady ol' Sarah Jim won't get any love from me. My reply:

No.

Sincerely
Flibby

My Surgery Fiasco

So, I'm having a bunion removed from my right foot. You may have thought like I did that they would just whack me on the head and take a palm sander to it, but I was informed by my doctor that it is unlikely that such a procedure would have the desired effect. So, surgery is my only other option.

I haven't mentioned it because I've been busy lately with getting ready for school and reading Harry Potter and learning how to work my television. (For the last five years, I have not had to work the TV by myself -- either because I didn't have it or because I had a roommate whom I left in charge of that -- and I just got Dish Network, which has lots of gadgety features. It's very exciting.)

The last time I was at the podiatrist's office, they told me that I would have surgery next Tuesday and that they would send me the paperwork and additional information in the mail. I didn't get anything.

Well, due to a psychic premonition, I decided to check my home voicemail. (My cellphone is my primary point of contact; I only have a homephone for the internet and now Dish Network.) Lo! There was a message from my Primary Care Physician informing me of an appointment with them this morning.

Here's the phone call I made to them:

Flibby: Hi! I think I have an appointment this morning.

Nice Nurse Lady: Yes, you do!

Flibby: Would you be so kind as to tell me what the appointment is for?

Nice Nurse Lady: It says here that you're coming in for a physical.

Flibby: The one I had two weeks ago wasn't sufficient?

Nice Nurse Lady: Hm. Are you having surgery or something?

Flibby: Yes.

Nice Nurse Lady: Oh! Well, this will be so that we can sign your papers.

Flibby: Do I have papers for you to sign?

Nice Nurse Lady: You should and you should bring them with you to the appointment this morning.

Flibby: Ok! I am going to call my podiatrist and have them fax the papers to you for the appointment because I have not recieved them.

This is my subsequent call to the podiatrist's office:

Flibby: Hi! I just found out that I have an appointment with my primary care physician this morning and I am supposed to give them some paperwork to sign, but I haven't recieved any paperwork.

Spacey Nurse Lady: Uh oh!

[silence]

Flibby: Um. How can I get the paperwork?

Spacey Nurse Lady: You could come by and get it or I could fax it over to them.

Flibby: Yes, please fax it to them. Can you tell me if I have any other appointments with you?

Spacey Nurse Lady: I have you down for Monday.

Flibby: Okey dokey. Do you know what that's for?

Spacey Nurse Lady: No. The scheduler lady doesn't have it in the computer.

Flibby: Oh. Well, do you know if my surgery is on Tuesday?

Spacey Nurse Lady: No.

Flibby: Oh. Well, if you do get more information, will you please let me know? I will let my doctor's office know to expect your fax.

So, I had two top-secret appointments I didn't know about. Then, the Scheduler Lady calls me up.

Scheduler Lady: Hi, Flibby! What's going on?

Flibby: I have no idea. I found out this morning that I have to go see my primary care physician and now I know that I also have an appointment with you guys on Monday.

Scheduler Lady: Oh. You didn't get a letter with the paperwork and schedule?

Flibby: No.

Scheduler Lady: Oh. Ok. Well, let me tell you what it is and then I will send you another letter so you'll have a copy.

So, then she tells me what all I have to go to and I learn that I will be out of work an extra day and that there are all kinds of appointments I have to keep.

SURPRISE!

Oh, and flashback to my conversation with the surgeon:

Flibby: I understand it requires surgery.

Surgeon: Great! What kind of surgery would you like.

Flibby: Um. You're the expert here. Why don't you tell me which one you think I should have and then I'll pick that one?

Surgeon: Sure! There are lots of different... [blah, blah, blah... we talked about two different procedures and the pros & cons and he told me which one he recommends for me and I said, "Let's do that one."]

[Then, he adopts this really serious tone.]
Now, I don't want you to have an unrealistic expectations about this. Surgery doesn't fix everything.

Flibby: [alarmed] WHAT? Am I going to be able to walk when this gets healed up?

Surgeon: Oh sure. I --

Flibby: [Still alarmed] I'm not going to tip over while trying to stand up or anything, right?

Surgeon: Oh no. Nothing like that. I --

Flibby: [relieved] Ok. So, what kind of unrealistic expectations might one have about this?

Surgeon: Well, your foot won't be perfectly straight. Some people want their foot to be unnaturally straight.

[silence. I'm looking at him like he's crazy.]

Flibby: Um. Look. I gave up on my aspirations to be a foot model a long time ago. I just want my toe to not hurt and not compromise any of the natural function I have today. Like, I don't want a stiff toe and I don't want to fall over and I don't want to end up in a wheelchair because of a bunion, ok?

Surgeon: Oh. Well, yeah, we can definitely do that.

And these people are about to cut on my foot. Right now, I'm thinking my palm sander idea has less risk to it.

Don't Get Fired. Don't Get Fired. Don't Get Fired.

All last week, I felt very optimistic about my work and building up my relationship with my boss. Unfortunately, we didn't get to have the 1-on-1 he promised me we would have last week. That's ok. I missed the regularly scheduled time because of a doctor's appointment. Later, we were both really busy and it didn't work out.

Now, he's late for work again and missing the meeting.

Do I remind him of his promise and ask him to reschedule? Do I let it slide and perpetuate the hostility that got us to this point?

He complains that he can't trust me, but then he fails to uphold his commitments. He lies and doesn't realize he's lying. He gossips and doesn't realize he's a gossip. He's a hypocrit and doesn't realize he's a hypocrit.

The whole point is that I KNOW I cannot rely on him. The complete lack of mutual respect is just one aspect of the situation.

172 more days. 120 more work days.

Update: It's like this.

More Good News About School

I met with my undergraduate advisor for philosophy yesterday to see how many classes I will have to take and the final tally is: 8 classes!

Wooo!

This means that when I start in January, I will only have to complete 15 classes for my double major. I will also probably pick up a few semesters of German while I'm there and I will still be able to get out in 2 years.

Of course, I do have to complete two classes this semester via independent study, but they're easy. One is symbolic logic and the other is introduction to ethics. What's more, my advisor invited me to audit his symbolic logic lectures, so I will get a real class for the price of an independent study class.

... if I can convince my boss to let me.

I also found out that Starbucks offers medical, dental, vision, 401K, and stock options to even its part-time employees. If I can't find a posh restaurant to teach me to be a waiter, Starbucks is going to be up on my list of places I might want to work. (Although, I've heard that they're a little nuts, there, so I approach that with caution.)

Still no roommates. *sigh*

I figured out that for $500 a month I can even include utilities. This is bargains!

How to Get Cussed Out

If this applies to you and you roll up to my house, get ready to get cussed out.

No, we cannot date. No, we cannot be friends. Just leave.

Update: Apparently, my readers have not considered exactly how problematic gigantic penises are. I will conceed that I haven't really mentioned my opinion on "size."

Yes, it matters, and suffice it to say that if you have a cock ring the size of a basketball hoop, you are off the list. I don't care what kind of car you drive.

I Do Not Have HIV

As a sexually-active adult, I get tested for HIV every 6 - 12 months. (It does make me wonder how active one has to be to be called 'sexually-active,' but to quote Lauryn Hill, "If you did it once then you'll prolly do it again.")

And then I called my ex to let him know that I am, once again, affirmed as a person without HIV.

I'm only sharing all of this because I read this cool article about a new medicine they invented for HIV in Japan.

KOBE, Japan, July 6 (UPI) -- Japanese researchers have developed a durable new drug that blocks HIV from entering human cells and causes almost no side effects.

[...]

The researchers conducted clinical tests on 40 AIDS patients in the United States. When the patients took 0.02 ounces of AK602 twice a day for 10 days, the number of HIV viruses dropped to an average of 1 percent.

Almost no side effects were reported, the professor said.

Nice.

The next step in evolution is ours to take.

You Might Be A Geek If... Wait. What's Worse Than Geek?

I was recently informed that if you buy books before classes start, you're a geek.

This has me somewhat worried because I bought my books and not only have classes not started, but I'm not even registered for classes yet.

Also, I'm reading some other texts for classes I have no intention of taking.

What's worse than geek?

I really need to kick this off with some positive street cred, because the last time around my stock was not exactly blue chip and I totally intend to land a jock or two at least with this try. Last time, well... all I will say is "actor." And we won't mention it again, ok?

So, it's too late. I bought the books. I'm reading the other books. What can I do? Any tips would be appreciated.

Buying Books

Jen just bought some books for her first classes.

And so did I!!!

I got:

• Understanding Symbolic Logic - Virginia Klenk


• The Right Thing To Do: Basic Readings in Moral Philosophy - James Rachels


• The Elements of Moral Philosophy with Dictionary of Philosophical Terms - James Rachels

Naturally, I searched for used/cheap copies out on the net. Woohoo!

I hope I don't have to go buy copies of the Bible, Koran, Torah, Kabballah, or anything like that for my classes. I'm not into that.

How Not to Answer an Ad

So, I have ads in the local papers. I haven't had much response, but today I got this email out of the blue:

Date: Mon, 11 Jul 2005 12:20:53 -0500
From: Lisa B--
Subject:

Please call 678-555-1234 my name is Lisa B--

Of course, I changed her name and took out her real number, but I'm sorry, but that doesn't intrigue me. No subject. No indication of why I should call. Just a phone number and some woman's name. For all I know, that number goes to Papua, New Guinea, so there is no way in hell I'm calling that.

As it turns out she was answering my ad.

One Idea...

So, I'm starting to think that finding roommates is going to be a really tough task, but I just had a crazy idea: What if I don't get roommates and instead rent out my whole house?

Sure, I be sad about not living in my house any more, but I also stand a greater chance at making some money from it.

Then, I could rent an apartment closer to school with some roommates.

Hmmmmm...

Not Fired

So, I didn't get fired this morning.

Instead, Director Dan and I have agreed to work with one another to try to overcome our challenges and move forward. He has agreed to some things that I consider to be critical to our success, like showing up at the office and not constantly missing meetings, and I have agreed to do some things that he considers to be critical to our success, like my job.

The conversation this morning was very positive and ended on a very hopeful note. While I don't think it possible to turn our working relationship into one that is ideal, I think we can cover some significant ground in terms of alleviating the stress and tension that has characterized our relationship in the past.

I am hopeful to a point where I think I may actually feel a small twinge of regret when I have to resign at the end of the year. That really says something.

I Might Be Fired Again

My boss moved our meeting from today until tomorrow. I think Friday is the day they fire people.

*sigh*

Eats, Shoots, and Leaves

I just recieved a memo with this sentence in it:

Due to the volume of data, we will not be correcting grammar or spelling mistakes.

I wish they had written "Due to the volume of data, we will not correct grammar or spelling mistakes."

I HATE the "to be + gerund" construct. It gets bandied about so much these days that it makes me a little crazy ESPECIALLY in situations like this. I know it's easy to use. I know I use it more than I ought. But it still makes me crazy.

So, let's all just group together to make it stop.

Mom Starts Coming Around

So, I got to speak with my mom today at greater length about my plan to go back to school. The conversation sparked out of a potential part-time job opportunity that landed in my lap today. It's totally speculative at this point, but I do have a pretty strong advocate inside the other company who will push a little on my behalf, so we'll see.

Anyway, she was much more positive in her responses this time. She wasn't effusive, but certainly more supportive of my ability to confront the challenges and sounded more excited about the possibilities here.

This is a good sign!

DIE, VERMIN!

I hit a raccoon in my car on my way home tonight. My car is fine, but I'm not so sure about the raccoon. Obviously, I wasn't going to stop. But I will look for it in the morning.

If it's dead, then this will be the first fatality I've ever had in my career as a driver.

I would notch my steering wheel, but I paid extra for the leather interior.

MWAHAHAHAAA!

Update: I forgot to look this morning. I will try to remember on my way home today, but the buzzards have probably eaten it already if it died last night.

Fireworks!

I'm headed over to a BBQ in a few to celebrate our independence.

While I'm gone, you can enjoy some fireworks, too!

Link courtesy of The Binary Circumstance.

Squish & Doug's Hollywood Premier

Ok. The kittens turned 10 weeks yesterday. They're learning some manners, but they still get pretty rowdy.

After the whole poop-on-dad-while-he's-sleeping-and-hung-over incident, I asked them to please sleep in the bathroom near their litter box and that seems to have worked well. I also bought them another litter box and put it at the other end of the house and they like that, too.

So, they've been really good and last night I decided to try to let them sleep outside of the bathroom. Naturally, they climbed up on my bed and started biting my ears and attacking my hair. When they finally settled down to be quiet, they wanted to sleep right next to my head and before falling asleep they started purring so loudly that I am sure the neighbors were about to call the cops.

So, after about 2 hours of me not sleeping, I got up and put them in their bathroom. We might try the sleeping outside of the bathroom thing again tonight, but I will hopefully get to bed a little earlier so I can deal with all of that a little better.

Meanwhile, I was playing with the video feature on my camera and I have three videos of Squish and Doug to show you!

It's kind of like the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, minus the crazy names and magic and it's also sort of like Star Wars but the acting is better. Remember: Squish is the black one and Doug is the grey one. Squish decided that her primary job is to look hot and appeal to the 18 - 35 male crowd. Doug just wanted to make sure the action was good, so we called in Jet Lee to consult.

That's all. I'll stop talking. Just watch the videos.

The Grotto of Forbidden Desire (15Mb) - In which Doug and Squish discover a secret cave full of danger and treasures like gatorade bottle caps. The heroes have immediate chemisty, but there is trouble in paradise! How could such a beautiful woman be the enemy? How could a Greek god of a man be so pig-headed? The passion! The conflict! The giant foot and naked knee!

Squish Does Dallas (15Mb) - I'm still working on the title for this one, but it opens in a foreign land. (We actually filmed it on location in Burma where Squish adopted the first of what will probably be several Asian children. And when I say "adopted" I really mean "bought" because she does not have time for paperwork.) Anyway, Doug sees Squish in the arms of another man. A jealous fight breaks out between the two and they split up for a bit. Doug goes to confront the man and realizes that the other man is not important. Instead, he must confront the real issue: his feelings for Squish. They have another encounter, but Squish pushes him away. She wants him desperately and regrets that he saw her with that other guy. "He means nothing to me!" she cried. Now, there is nothing but silence. She watches Doug from afar and sighs, "No one ever told me being a spy would be easy."

Chicken-Flavored Skye Vodka (11Mb) - I used a Bourne-Supremacy-meets-Cops camera style in this one to reflect the inner turmoil our heroes are experiencing, so this one is a little more arty than the previous two. Very Kubrick. Our trilogy returns to the Grotto of Forbidden Desire only now our heroes are working out their differences. They both realize they are inextricably a part of one another's lives, but they don't know what that means because they don't speak the English that well yet because they're 10 weeks old. Give them a break! Also, how do they stop the plague of giant hands that threaten civilization? (See how I set it up for another sequel? That's good filmmaking right there.)

We still have some post-production work to do, and I have to compose the score, but I'm thinking this will be the summer blockbuster of 2006, 2007, and 2008.

It's a Beautiful Gorram Life!

I drove over to Atlanta last night and met the Ice Scribe and her husband, M. We had dinner at a really good steak house and do you know what? They are absolutely wonderful people.

I was about 25 minutes late because I got lost. It worked out fine, because Ice Scribe had planned on us spending some time in conversation at the bar and set the reservation for 30 minutes later.

From there, things got rolling quite well. The conversation was spectacular. Not only are they Objectivists, but they've read and experienced tons of things outside of OPAR or Atlas Shrugged. Don't mistake me: there's nothing wrong with learning from theory, but it is quite another to have observed the theory in practice before.

And we talked and ate some delicious steak and talked and had good wine and talked and ate dessert and talked and talked and talked. Eventually, we moved away from our table and back toward the bar to let our waiter go home. And we talked and talked. Then we had to leave because the restaurant was closing.

It was brilliant. Meeting wonderful people is very life-affirming and inspiring.

I can't wait to visit with them again.