October 03, 2007
September 27, 2007
Truth is True
In case you haven't seen it, episode 5 of Planet Unicorn has been out for a while now. Check it out! Heeeey!
September 25, 2007
I Just Noticed...
My underwear is on inside-out.
I was wondering why the ruffles were scratching my tush.
September 21, 2007
Do Not Click This Link
I know it's a little kid, but it's still not ok. It's child abuse and terrorism at the same time.
(If you ignored my advice and you clicked the link, be sure to turn your speakers way, way up so everyone around you can enjoy it, too.)
As Usual, Tyra Says What We're All Thinking
This is awesome.
It's awesome because:
1) That is exactly what someone needs to say to Britney. And also, "Where did you put your hairbrush and panties?"
2) If you didn't know, this video is pieced together from Britney's interview with Matt Lauer in which she (dressed herself) described herself as "country" and an episode of America's Next Top Model in which Tyra Banks flipped out on a contestant that she thought was flippant about her participation in the show, both of which were awesome for different reasons.
This video is totally made of win.
September 20, 2007
September 19, 2007
And the Rivers Ran Red with Poison Blood
Cracked: The 5 Most Kick-Ass Apocalyptic Prophecies
That's like, whoa.
ARRRRR! Avast Ye Dead Man's Chest of Rum! Thar!! ARRRR!
It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day!
AARRRRRR!!! Get ye with it, mateys!!
Update: Paul Hsieh of Geekpress informed me that real pirate bloggers use this keyboard.
Rrrrrrrr! Rrr! Rrrrr! Rrrrr! Rrr! Rrrrrrrr! Rrrrr!
That sounds like Talk Like Your Battery is Dead Day. ARRR!
September 18, 2007
They Say the Camera Adds Ten Inches
So, the other night I was at home by myself perusing an adult website with pictures of people, shall we say, in flagrante delicto. And I noticed this one guy with a peculiar tattoo that seemed really familiar.
At first, I thought maybe he was very active in his *ahem* industry, but to be frank his *ummm* qualifications were not what one would expect of *ahhhh* a real mover-and-shaker.
And then I remembered: he goes to my gym.
Naturally, I forwarded a link to the web page directly to my personal trainer. Part of me hopes that he's in the gym tonight so that my trainer and I can point and giggle but then part of me wants to put down plastic in the locker room before I touch anything. Although, judging from what I've seen, plastic may have the reverse effect that I desire.
September 13, 2007
September 12, 2007
Wigs for Canine Americans
Knowing how much I love dogs wearing clothes, Mister Bookworm also sent me a link to Wiggles Dog Wigs. It's a website that sells WIGS for DOGS.
!!!!!
I KNOW! RIGHT!!! This is so awesome.
Buddy Braids is definitely my favorite.
I Am that Individual
(Awesome.)
Update: If you want to see your name on that website (and delude yourself) you just have to take this url and put your name in the proper place: http://your.name.youaremighty.com/
September 11, 2007
Whoa.
Chris Crocker is a mess. A huge mess, but every now and then I check in on him on YouTube just to see what he's screaming, swearing, and mincing about. Well, I also know that he's a HUGE Britney Spears fan.
Like most people, I was really hoping that her opening for MTV's VMA show would signal the beginning of her comeback. I was hoping for the tight abs, the delicious pop music, the boobies and bootie poppin', the whole deal. Instead, I got something that Dennis Hensley of MSN described thusly:
Britney was like a jaded stripper a few minutes before closing time who leaves her ciggie burning backstage while she goes out to shake her weary ass for the punters one more time. Simply put, she looked like she didn’t want to be there.
Daaaaaayyyum.
I didn't see the performance, but I did watch the Today Show commentary on the video from the MSN site. It seems like Viacom is stalking YouTube for people posting recordings of the performance and having them removed, so I can't link you to it there.
But check out Chris Crocker's reaction:
DAAAAAAYYYUM.
Thanks to Buddhista for sending me the MSN link.
PS This isn't the serious post I was talking about.
I Promise a Serious Post in a Minute When I'm Done with YouTube
SarcasticGamer.com presents a twisted take on one of Microsoft's latest and greatest announcements. Truth be told, We actually WANT a Surface Computer, but since we can't afford one, we thought it might be fun to make fun of it.
My favorite part: "The future is here and it's not an iPhone. It's a bigass table. Take that, Apple!"
September 07, 2007
Perhaps the Least True Statement Ever Uttered
Tourist girl to boyfriend: Wow, New York is just like Ohio!
--Fast food corridor, Penn Station, Overheard in New York
The Cause of Global Warming Revealed!
Rat reveals the cause of global warming in today's Pearls Before Swine!
September 06, 2007
September 05, 2007
August 29, 2007
August 17, 2007
I Salute You General
Thanks to the crack reporting over at The Onion, I find myself in full support of the military's discriminatory policies regarding gays in the military.
'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General
Frankly, I wish my company had a similar policy whereby I could be paid for spending my time thinking about man on man romance.
August 15, 2007
August 13, 2007
How Come Nobody Told Me About the Bake Sales?
Click here to view the Get Fuzzy cartoon to which I am referring.
And I have never been pelted with money by Democrats.
August 09, 2007
All the Boys Be Jockin', They Chase Me Out the School
If you know me, you probably already know that I love the Li'l Mama video for Lip Gloss. Here it is:
The song and the video crack me up.
Well, a friend of my roommate was involved in a remake of the video with drag queen, Britney Houston. Apparently, it involves a lot of the case of A Chorus Line. This was the result:
It's poppin'!
Loves it!
You Could be a Part-time Model, But You'd Have to Keep Your Normal Job
From the Flight of the Conchords on HBO
August 06, 2007
Principal Firebush
Reader Tiberius submitted this YouTube video:
Ten Things I Hate about Commandments
heh heh heh...
August 03, 2007
HAPPY FRIDAY!
Mister Bookworm sent me this video which he found on Gothamist.
AWWWWWSSSOOOOOMMMMEEE!
August 01, 2007
Official God FAQ
In the event that you find yourself with questions about God, please consult this F.A.Q.
Thanks!
Found thanks to Stumble Upon, which I am trying out at Diana's recommendation.
July 31, 2007
July 26, 2007
A Most Unfortunate Headline
Brought to you by Thrillist.
Seriously, if you haven't signed up for Thrillist and you live in one of the areas they cover, you should really do it right now. They have awesome recommendations, the write-ups are funny, and they link to hilarious pictures like the above.
What's not to love?
They cover NYC, LA, and San Francisco. And they offer a list for the Nation as well.
You get a daily email with a cool recommendation. Sometimes it's a sample sale, sometimes it's a party, sometimes it's a bar, sometimes it's a restaraunt, and sometimes it's a list that mixes up all of the above.
For serious. Sign up today.
July 24, 2007
July 23, 2007
July 20, 2007
July 19, 2007
Dip Trip Flip Fantasia
Swinging and smooth. You know what's in style and you're tastes are just perfect. You know what is worth spending and you like to live the high life. You're classy and smooth talking. You're the Stylish Jazz type of Gay Guy.
Take this quiz!
| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Crazy!
Mister Bookworm sent me this link yesterday about a guy who visits all 171 Starbucks Coffee shops in Manhattan in 24 hours. It's not the kind of funny that he wants it to be. It's kind of a trainwreck.
And he runs like a lunatic-- a really GAY lunatic.
July 13, 2007
Locker Room Antics of a Pocket Gay
It's probably rude to laugh at a man when you've just seen him naked but that's what I did this morning.
There's this guy at my gym who is actually really very attractive. He has a great body, pretty eyes, and he has a great sense of style. At first blush, his only short coming (pun intended) is that he can't be more than 5' 6" tall. I refer to him as "Shorty." (He's what a friend of mine calls a "Pocket Gay.")
As attractive as I think Shorty is, I do also believe he's a bit of a slut. The reasons why I believe this of him aren't so important beyond the fact that I have seen him trying to catch my eye a couple of times.
Well, this morning, I took my shower and got dressed next to my locker which was in the back part of the room behind a large concrete column. Given its situation, I didn't have a good sense of what everyone else in the room was doing unless they were in my periphery. This means I don't have to deal with inadvertent views of buttholes or swinging richards and it means that I garner far fewer stares myself.
So, I got dressed and I picked up my things to go to the sinks so that I could brush my teeth and everything and when I stepped around the column, there was Shorty.
Shorty was standing in front of the mirror with his feet a little more than shoulder width apart, knees locked, and drying his hair without even one of those coying little towels around his waist. The man was completely naked and I was caught completely by surprise.
What made me laugh was the fact that Shorty was using the hair drier on his hair which is not more than a quarter of an inch long. His hair is so short that he can't possibly style it.
As I said, he's an attractive man with a very nice body. I don't find his nudity in any way offensive unto itself, but we can be sure that his hair drying this morning was nothing more than a ridiculous pretense to stand in front of everyone naked.
And when I came around the corner, I caught his eye in the reflection. As we locked eyes, I had to bite my lip to stifle the laughter and hurry away to brush my teeth.
July 06, 2007
Pimping Is Easy
But Jessica Alba left a comment on my website.
I "accidentally" deleted it, but for the record she said I have a great website.
It's ok. You can be jealous.
July 03, 2007
Crossing Borders, Crossing Lines
A friend of mine was telling me about some ideas for books that had been proposed to a publisher and one of them was a cookbook of Middle Eastern food. Obviously, such things exist, but for some reason I think the idea was rejected and I couldn't help but come up with possible titles.
Here they are in the order I presented them to him. You can probably guess why I stopped.
- A Million Ways to Cook Sand
- Camel: The Meat
- Bomb-Proof Garden Parties for Children
- Recipes to Make Your Mama Ululate
- Sheik and Bake!
- Bucket of Clits: Cooking with Leftovers
Any other ideas?
June 29, 2007
June 28, 2007
Truth in Advertising
I just want to complain about the fact that the 24/7 peep show near my work is never open in the morning. They sign in neon CLEARLY says that it's open 24/7, but when I walk past it on my way to work, there is a heavy metal garage door pulled down in front of it.
Someone call the better business bureau about this egregious example of false advertising!
April 27, 2006
Curious
I just got this email:
Subject: Need Info ASAP From: CA Office AdminPlease provide me with the following information by 12 noon Pacific Time tomorrow, Friday April 28th:
Shirt Gender: select M or F
Size (for long-sleeved dress shirt): select S, M, L, XL, XXLNY – PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR INFORMATION DIRECTLY TO NY OFFICE ADMIN
How does one politely explain that one respects the privacy of one's clothing enough to not go probing into these things?
Of course, I want a male shirt, but I'm really kind of curious about the female ones. Does that make me bi? Bi-curious? Maybe I'll go out tonight and have a few drinks and see what kind of shirts like me back.
(And before anyone gets REALLY ridiculous, I know the difference between gender and sex. I'm just being silly, folks.)
January 17, 2006
Why The Man Is Always Trying to Hold Me Down
Celebrity Gossip Buddy: This woman KILLS me!!Liz Hurley says she hates being so famous. “’The positive things are very shallow; the positive things would be things like: Getting any restaurant reservation you like! Getting to the front of the line! Being given free things! So what?� the former model turned actress told the Observer magazine. “The traveling is monstrous because you get bothered all the time. The hell of going on holiday when you’re famous! You can’t go anywhere! It’s just no fun!�
Flibby: What kills me about it is that she acts like she is just magically famous. As if she hasn't done anything to warrant it.
Celebrity Gossip Buddy: I think she is a tool
Flibby: If I'm ever famous, the words "Damn right, my milkshake is better than yours" will be coming out of my mouth every five minutes or so.
Hell, I say that a lot now anyway.
