Flibbertigibbet

Papi, Can Ju Hear Me?

These are two ad spots for the 2007 Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival. Hilarious!

Hat tip to Joe. My. God. for the news.

Assimilation Nation

So, you all remember that I went to Miami for my birthday. While there, Mister Bookworm and our friends went to the gay section of South Beach.

"Just a section?" you ask. "I thought it was the whole thing!" And you wouldn't be completely wrong.

But we went to the gay section which was the length of a city block. My friends lamented the erosion of the gay section, though. They said that in past years, the gay section used to extend for several blocks -- perhaps as many as ten.

Meanwhile, gay specialty magazines like Out and Advocate have taken huge hits in readership and advertising over the past years. The drop in advertising and readership this has been sufficiently explained away by Tanya Irwin in her latest column for Magazine Rack, but I still have to wonder if her original optimistic hypothesis doesn't have some merit to it.

It wasn't so long ago that Joe.My.God. noted the decline of gay bars in Orlando. ORLANDO! Gays practically invented Disneyland, people. This is just too shocking for words.

Well, for more words than I am using right now.

Or the amount of words used by Joe.

Ok. It's not too shocking for words, but it's pretty shocking. It's upsetting! (But not enough to ruin my mascara. I am not a barbarian.)

And big gay bars and clubs elsewhere, like NYC, San Fransisco, DC... have been closing, too. Of course, there are other explanations available there, too, and Joe talks about those.

But still I wonder.

Is it possible that the gays are being assimilated? Would that be a good thing or a bad thing in terms of our fight for equal recognition under the law?

I can see it being a good thing because it would mean people are realizing that gay people aren't a threat to civilization. We're not trying to destroy your marriages or molest your children. We're just trying to mind our own business and experience the freedom of property that everyone else enjoys when they enter into marriage arrangements.

I could also see it being a bad thing because it would also mean our visibility is disappearing.

I don't really think the gays are getting blended into the giant American daiquiri, but it's an amusing thought that has crossed my mind a couple of times in recent history.

Sexy Sacrilege

Thanks to Joe.My.God. I have learned that there is now a gay porn version of the Jesus story called Passio (NSFW).

On one hand, this sounds horrible. You may recall that the Christ story culminates in a horrible, prolonged torture and execution process where the spiritual suffering of the main character actually exceeds the physical suffering. This is difficult to imagine because the torture is so extreme.

And people wonder why I refuse to see that Mel Gibson production.

On the other hand, there's this hot guy traveling, hanging out on the beach, fishing, camping, and drinking with 12 swarthy friends who sometimes run into military men. Porn isn't really known for its fulfilling plot development, so maybe they can avoid the whole hurting and dying thing.

Define Discrimination

I endorse discrimination.

I like charging my annoying customers more than my cooperative customers. I like the notion of charging more for an airplane ticket the closer you get to departure time. I like paying less when I buy in bulk. 55 gallons of mayo? Yes, please!

Those are examples of good, economically robust forms of discrimination that allow you to actually measure demand and adjust prices accordingly to make sure that supply remains available to those who want/need it most.

There are ugly, stupid ways to discriminate as well. People can be racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, anti-semetic, or whatever.

Naturally, I would prefer all people to be wise, rational human beings, but they aren't and when they aren't I do much prefer when they're obvious about it.

But you know how I get irritated when people then lie about it.

Thanks to Joe.My.God, I'm peeved at some Christians who are telling lies. They are bearing false witness, if you will.

Basically the deal is this: this guy died. His family went to their church of which he was a member and asked if they could hold the funeral there. The church, naturally, said that would be fine. Then, the church finds out that the man was gay and they say that they won't host the funeral because he's gay. Never mind that he attended the church with his husband and openly as a couple with his husband.

That's their right and I think it's also proper for the offended family to go to the press and their community with their outrage.

What bothers me is the statement from the church:

We did decline to host the service - not based on hatred, not based on discrimination, but based on principle. Had we known it on the day they first spoke about it - yes, we would have declined then. It's not that we didn't love the family. Even though we could not condone that lifestyle, we went above and beyond for the family through many acts of love and kindness.

Now, those folks in Texas know better than to piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

We might spend our time debating about what constitutes 'hate,' but I'll be honest: I don't care. I really just do not care how they feel.

But it is the very definition of discrimination. Some people can have their funerals at High Point Church in Arlington, Texas and some people can't. One reason they can't is for being gay.

Also, I contest this idea that some Christians have about loving the sinner but not the sin. People who commit sins are sinners. You can't have sins without sinners. You can't have sinners without sins. People are what they do.

I think the family of the man who died should take out ads in the papers calling the High Point Church discriminatory and call for people to not go there any more.

OR maybe they could stop for a second and throw their own funeral without all the magic stuff. And then also tell everyone that the people at High Point Church are haters.

More Encouragement

Mister Bookworm lives on the southernmost part of Harlem on 110th Street. Mister Bookworm's building faces Central Park, though and like its neighbors it is well-maintained and kept from developing the patina of urban blight that causes white folk to tremble so. Although this isn't the heart of Harlem it still bears many of the markings people associate with that neighborhood. There's a halfway house down the street next to some kind of holiness church. Government housing is right around the corner and unattended wallspace is dominated with graffiti. My point is that although it's a good place to live, it has an atmosphere quite distinct from other Manhattan neighborhoods like the Upper West Side, Hell's Kitchen, or Chelsea.

Well, he and I were walking to his apartment from the subway yesterday afternoon before jaunting off to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at the Greek and Roman exhibit and a couple approached us from the opposite direction. They were black and were dressed in what I thought to be somewhat grungy, non-descript clothing. I really didn't pay much attention to them, but as they got closer the woman shouted to us, "Heeeyyy!!" in a cheery tone.

I just happily called back to her, "Hey hey hey!" As is my habit when I'm caught off guard by a greeting.

We really weren't sure what prompted this, but we both immediately recalled our experience from last weekend in Astoria and took this to be a happy encounter.

Later in the evening, we were leaving his apartment to go meet some friends for dinner. Again, we were holding hands and this time walking toward the subway.

As we passed the halfway house, there was a woman seated on the steps in the front. This new woman shouted to us, "Yeah! Represent!" and made some cheering jestures. She was clearly very happy to see us.

I pumped my fist in the air a couple of times and smiled to her whilst making cheering sounds.

We laughed and continued onto the subway.

This is an extraordinary experience to me. Now, three times, in places where gay people do not seem common, where one would not expect to be applauded for being "out and proud" we've encountered cheers in place of jeered.

New York really is an incredible place.

Civil Unions Aren't the Same as Marriage

Joe. My. God. reports:

UPS is refusing to grant spousal benefits to gay couples who have civil unioned in New Jersey, saying that they can only do so for couples that are married, as the company does for married gay employees in Massachusetts. UPS joins a growing list of New Jersey companies refusing to recognize state law requiring full benefits be granted to the civil unioned. Garden State Equality says they have received 150 similar complaints about other companies. And again we see an example of how civil unions fall short of providing full rights to gay couples.

I've said it once and I'll said it again: if there is no difference between civil unions and marriages, then there is no reason to call them by different names. The only reason to call them something different is if they aren't the same, if you intend to treat them differently.

There are only two options: Either call all the unions civil or call them all marriages. Otherwise, gay activists should not stop protesting this outrageous situation.

Naturally, businesses are free to discriminate as they please. And consumers are free to do the same.

Weirdos on Gay.com

I often visit gay.com to chat with people and to look for potential dates. The vast majority of the people there are just cruising for sex, but there is a not insignificant number of cool people who really are just chatting and also looking for dates.

So, anyway, I was on there last night and, I swear, the weirdos were in full-effect.

First, some 50 year-old dude sends me a private messages and our conversation starts exactly like this:

Troll: I don't think so.

Flibby: No?

Troll: I only like jocks like me.

Flibby: Huh?

Flibby: You IMed me. Why are you giving me this information?

Troll: Nice try.

Troll: Whatever.

Flibby: I only like sane people like me.

Then I blocked him.

Next, another older fellow IM's me and says he's "generous." I immediately snapped at him, "Are you calling me a whore?"

He stepped back and tried to explain that, no, he doesn't think I'm a whore, he was just saying that he is generous like with dinner and drinks and stuff. I told him I wasn't interested and he left me alone.

Then, there was the usual bevy of people who are "bored" (read: horny).

I attracted my usual mass of gaysian men as well. I'm not particularly attracted to Asian guys. I've seen a few that I've thought were hot, but mostly that's just not my thing.

And there were NUMEROUS people under the age of 25, which, as far as I'm concerned, is a total waste of time.

And, of course, the people who just can't get it through their heads that I simply will not date people who believe in magic. No matter how clearly I explain it, they always want me to make an exception just for them.

I guess most of that is pretty normal for gay.com, though. But those first two guys I mentioned were a little out of the ordinary for me. Weirdos.