Flibbertigibbet

Eeek!

I withdrew from school last night.

Here we go again!

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa

I totally didn't realize it was the Georgia-Florida game this weekend in Jacksonville and I tried to go to class. I completely forgot that this is the High Holy Days at UGA

Please forgive me for I know not what I do.

Be Advised

I had my advisement appointments for class next semester! Here's what I'm taking:

Icons in Byzantium - An Art History class that will teach me about the rarified Eastern Orthodoxy, I imagine. I'm going to have to break out my book of saints for this, I bet.
18 Century European Art History - Pretty obvious, right? Should be pretty good. It's the Age of Enlightenment, right? High-baroque music (Bach!) and neo-classicism in art. Sadly, we also have Kant, Hume, and Berkley are during this time as major philosophers. BAH!
Ancient Philosophy - Aristotle, YAY! Plato, BOO! Socratese, WTF? Sophists, LOL!
Modern Philosophy - I am sure most of the materials for this class completely suck.
Elementary German - Wie Ghets!

So, here we go!

Cute Boy Sat Next to Me! YAY!

Ok, so I went to class and cute boy was there wearing regular clothes... except his sandals. They were these crazy stylized leather jobs that I can't imagine how I'd pick them out let alone some straight boy picking them out... unless he just has wierd taste or picked them out by accident, which is something known to happen among the heteros.

Anyway, my prof invites his students to gather off-campus for drinks and conversation and today, when I got there, the sorta cute boy from my class was there and we got to sit next to one another on a love seat!

Oo la la!

But, here's the drama: there's this other boy who meets with us, too, who is ALSO cute, but in a different way, who always looks at me. He doesn't lick his lips at me or anything wierd like that, but he does make a lot of eye contact when there are plenty of other people to look at. So, he might be straight, but I can't tell there either.

See, this is why I'm not allowed to socialize with the other primates of my species. There's too much giggling and hair-braiding.

YEHAW!!

I just rocked out one lesson in Symbolic Logic and then took a test, which I know I also rocked out on.

Now, I'm going to cook and get cleaned up and ready for a dinner party this evening.

Right on schedule.

Messy Brain

I am noticing more and more how cloudy my thinking and expression are on so many philosophical topics.

It's going to take a lot of work to unravel all of this and set it right.

Cute Boy Update

Ok. Cute Boy is so falling out of favor. I'm starting to scope this pre-law kid that sat next to me today.

Why is Cute Boy's stock falling? Because he 1) asked another stupid question today and 2) he got in my way again as I was trying to leave.

Ok. When teacher says, "These letters stand for the simple statements in the argument," to ask not 30 seconds later what the letter stand for is ridiculous. And when you ask if the letters are variables, when we know from our reading assignment that we should be careful not to refer to them as variables, it shows that you didn't do the reading.

And standing in my way is always bad. I know the room is small and I know I sometimes seem to appear out of nowhere, but when I was on crutches and you didn't know I was there, I can't possibly expect you to know I'm there when it's just me in my ninja shoes and I have to suspect that it's a full-blown thing where you don't pay attention.

Cute Boy, I'm giving you notice. You'd better straighten up or you're not invited to my study group.

First Day of Class

Classes started today and I attended my symbolic logic lecture. It was AWESOME!

And there are at least three cute guys in there; the cutest one sat next to me today ... and then he stood in my way as I was trying to leave because he apparently is not sufficiently aware of his surroundings to know when to move his cute little butt so that the man on crutches isn't tempted to beat him within an inch of his life.

This so rocks!

I had to write my boss a thank you note for him letting me be flexible with my schedule and attend lecture.

Mom Progress

I had a good conversation with my mom last night; she is finally coming around to accepting and supporting my decision to go back to school.

She said she saw something on TV about how people my age (30-ish) are making life-changing decisions at this stage in their life. I have observed this in my friends and relatives as well, and I think that when she observed it as a social trend it lent some validity to the decision, especially when she was able to compare my decision to that of some of my cousins who are the same age.

One cousin quit her job as a bank manager to go to nursing school.
One cousin is having her first child.
One cousin mouthed off at work and got fired.

And I'm pursuing a doctorate.

I'm sure she sees that things could be worse. I don't know why a social precedence eases her mind at all, but our conversation definitely seemed to indicate that the report she saw eased her mind.

We even discussed the fact that I have to get roommates or there will be big trouble.

So, this is good news. Now, only 157 days until I start back full time.

More Good News About School

I met with my undergraduate advisor for philosophy yesterday to see how many classes I will have to take and the final tally is: 8 classes!

Wooo!

This means that when I start in January, I will only have to complete 15 classes for my double major. I will also probably pick up a few semesters of German while I'm there and I will still be able to get out in 2 years.

Of course, I do have to complete two classes this semester via independent study, but they're easy. One is symbolic logic and the other is introduction to ethics. What's more, my advisor invited me to audit his symbolic logic lectures, so I will get a real class for the price of an independent study class.

... if I can convince my boss to let me.

I also found out that Starbucks offers medical, dental, vision, 401K, and stock options to even its part-time employees. If I can't find a posh restaurant to teach me to be a waiter, Starbucks is going to be up on my list of places I might want to work. (Although, I've heard that they're a little nuts, there, so I approach that with caution.)

Still no roommates. *sigh*

I figured out that for $500 a month I can even include utilities. This is bargains!

You Might Be A Geek If... Wait. What's Worse Than Geek?

I was recently informed that if you buy books before classes start, you're a geek.

This has me somewhat worried because I bought my books and not only have classes not started, but I'm not even registered for classes yet.

Also, I'm reading some other texts for classes I have no intention of taking.

What's worse than geek?

I really need to kick this off with some positive street cred, because the last time around my stock was not exactly blue chip and I totally intend to land a jock or two at least with this try. Last time, well... all I will say is "actor." And we won't mention it again, ok?

So, it's too late. I bought the books. I'm reading the other books. What can I do? Any tips would be appreciated.

Buying Books

Jen just bought some books for her first classes.

And so did I!!!

I got:

• Understanding Symbolic Logic - Virginia Klenk


• The Right Thing To Do: Basic Readings in Moral Philosophy - James Rachels


• The Elements of Moral Philosophy with Dictionary of Philosophical Terms - James Rachels

Naturally, I searched for used/cheap copies out on the net. Woohoo!

I hope I don't have to go buy copies of the Bible, Koran, Torah, Kabballah, or anything like that for my classes. I'm not into that.

Mom Starts Coming Around

So, I got to speak with my mom today at greater length about my plan to go back to school. The conversation sparked out of a potential part-time job opportunity that landed in my lap today. It's totally speculative at this point, but I do have a pretty strong advocate inside the other company who will push a little on my behalf, so we'll see.

Anyway, she was much more positive in her responses this time. She wasn't effusive, but certainly more supportive of my ability to confront the challenges and sounded more excited about the possibilities here.

This is a good sign!

Odd Fallout

So, have I mentioned my mother's reaction when I broke the news to her that I'm going back to school?

It was... exasperated.

?

I don't know if that's the right word.

She actually protested! There was a small tinge of begging in her voice, too.

I probably should have dropped more hints or warmed her up to the idea more slowly. I DID drop hints, though, and I DID mention that philosophy was something I was considering. Of course, I did also mention economics, but let's be real: am I EVER going to do that much math? Hell no.

But now my mom won't talk about this idea I have of pursuing a doctorate in philosophy or anything associated with it. When I tried to talk about how I would be getting roommates soon, she excused herself and hung up the phone.

She didn't hang up on me. She excused herself gracefully, but quickly.

That's unfortunate because come December she is in for a rude awakening because I probably cannot host Christmas here afterall. (Should have taken me up on the invite last year.) And come January, communication from me may break off entirely because I will be completely immersed in school.

If we can't talk about my life, I really don't feel like talking about her life. This relationship may becomes unbearably shallow.

I don't mean to be callous, but my mother seriously needs to get on board.

Ok. Deep breaths. I'm trying to be in touch with my emotions, so let's talk about how I feel for a second, ok?

This is very hurtful. How's that?

I am angry and sad that she won't hear me out on this. I know she wants me to live a happy, comfortable life, and she sees this pursuit as being inherently risky to both. Well, mostly the second part.

She sniffs at idealism when it comes to putting it to practice. She's taught me to be pragmatic that way. Fortunately, I combined the practical sense of my mother with the insane idealism of my father (it's time we all admit that I get my crazy zealot streak from him, the religious nut.) to create lofty, long-range plans.

I think this is how a person should do things, really.

But back to me being hurt. Angry AND sad. Not just one! Both! At the same time!

I've tried to express to her how interested I am in writing. I've tried to tell her how important philosophy is to me. And both she and my father taught me to be a cheerful, patient, enthusiastic teacher -- more or less.

So, why doesn't she seem to understand?

When I told her about my plan she exclaimed, "What are you doing? First art, then business, now philosophy? Economics I could understand, but what are you doing?"

I had expected a bit of trepidation. I expected some deep breaths. But ulitmately, I expected her to assure me that I could do this and that if I thought I would be happy that I should do it.

I wasn't prepared for the way she really reacted, though, and I don't even remember what response I gave her. I'm sure it was cryptic and not at all revealing, which doesn't help her peace of mind. Of course, at hearing her reaction, I felt accused and my heart sank.

All of my friends and people who know me well have shouted with joy when they heard my plan. They all said, "That sounds just like you. I think you will be very happy." They affirmed that they thought that I would be very successful as a philosophy professor and also very happy.

But not my mom.

I want her support in this and if she is to remain an important person in my life, I will need her support.

I will give her some time to come around, but the longer this goes unaddressed, the less sad I get and the more angry I get.

Good News / Bad News

I went and met with the undergraduate advisor for Art History this afternoon to see what kind of time/energy investment I am looking at to tack on that degree to this adventure.

After MUCH hemming and hawing over the complete disarray that is my academic transcript from my first undergraduate degree (If you're wondering: I graduated with a SINGLE degree with 157 credit hours. Most majors here only require 120 or, at most, 127.) we came up with our best and worst case scenarios, depending on what requirements my past coursework will meet.

Best case:
I will have to take 7 upper level courses and none of them have to focus on any art created earlier than 1890.

Worst case:
I will have to take 10 upper level courses and none of them have to focus on any art created earlier than 1890.

She also informed me that if my core classes also satisfy my philosophy requirements, the most that can be expected of me over in the philosophy department is 10 upper level philosophy courses.

SO! Worst case scenario with my double major, I will have to take 20 courses. At 5 courses a semester, that will take me about a year and a half. If I move more slowly for the sake of actual learning, which might be wise considering the path I'm choosing, I'm looking at two years.

You might think I'm crazy for being relieved about this, but I was actually fearing that adding this other major would make my stay in undergraduate studies last into a third year.

The next thing I have to do: See if I can get back into the Honors program. Being in the Honors program at UGA might be good for lots of things, but the thing I most appreciate is being able to register ahead of everyone else, so I get first pick of classes.

Welcome, Undergraduate!

Well, I just got back from the office of undergraduate admissions where I spoke with the nice ladies there and officially submitted my application to become an undergraduate student at the University of Georgia.

Wooo!

So, I'm going back to school to get a degree in Philosophy... and possibly a degree in Art History.

"Ok. I thought you were getting one useless degree before, but now you're going to spend money on TWO useless degrees?" you cry out in a voice that sounds remarkably like that of my mother.

Yes, it's true.

Why? Why? Why?

I suppose anything could happen, but it has been a dream of mine for some time to teach philosophy to artists. (If you've seen any modern art outside the walls of the Cordair Gallery you know why.) I've even thought about what it might take to start up an art school or found a college of art somewhere.

None of that may ever happen, but do you know what pieces of paper will assist me in getting to that point? An MBA, a MA (Art History), and a PhD in Philosophy.

The Masters in Art History will be the hard one to work into my plan. Ideally, I guess I would not take a break in my philosophy studies, but a break might be nice.

This peculiar combination of degrees and qualifications will also suit me to a number of other things that I really enjoy beyond a life strictly dedicated to academia.

Are there cheaper ways to go about this? I'm sure.

Could I pursue these studies on my own? Probably, but it's unlikely that I would -- I just know how I am. Also, people are weirdly impressed by papers with fancy letters on them. Further, this will give me insight and experience with those things from a certain perspective.

Isn't there a good chance that I will never realize any of my fantasies about schools and museums? Certainly. But getting there is as exciting to me as the end itself, which is something I've never been able to say about my career before.

Could it be that I am insane? I'm sure I'd be the last to know. Catch-22, right?

So, anyway, the future is bright. I see many possibilities. I'm excited about it all!

Lovely Wife is going to rent one of the bedrooms in my house. Any takers on the other one? My house is seriously way cool, y'all.