Inspector went and looked up Leonard Peikoff's comment on masturbation as sex from his Love, Sex & Romance Q&A:
"Q: Is masturbation sex…?
A: Yes it is Sex; sex is any contact with and pleasure from the genitals. It does not say what form of contact – despite our president [Clinton] – and it does not say who or whether it’s you yourself. If you get pleasure from scratching your back, that is not sex… but if it’s the right area, it is!”
(note also that the "despite our president" comment got big laughs")
As a friend of mine in college used to say: "Don't be dumb. Get you some."
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