Flibbertigibbet

Subway Weirdos

Last night I was heading home from the gym on the R Train, just minding my business and reading my book when a lady sat down in the seat next to me.

This wasn't a huge surprise because even though it wasn't rush hour or anything, the train was surprisingly full.

After riding for a few minutes, she tapped me on the should and said, "Excuse me," in a very timid voice and I saw that she was a young Asian lady with bad skin and bad teeth.

Being the friendly sort of fellow that I am, I replied. "Yes?"

"If you had a billion dollars, what would you do with it?"

"A billion dollars?"

"Yes."

"Well, I suppose I'd go on vacation."

"Oh! Is that all? Like would you continue to work or what?"

"Yes, I'd probably work, but not likely at the job I have. I'd travel. I'd maybe go to school."

"Oh. Ok. Thank you."

"You're welcome," I said and I went back to reading my book.

A few more minutes passed and she wanted me to look at some pages that she had torn out of a magazine.

I paid perfunctory attention to the pages before smiling and returning to my reading.

I should have told her that people have peed in their pants to get my attention before. Magazines just won't cut it anymore.

I know she was just trying to make a new friend, but when I got off the train I still checked to make sure I hadn't accidentally joined another cult.