Flibbertigibbet

In Which I Discover that My Standards Might Be Too High

Scene: The subway station at 23rd and 8th

Characters:
Flibby - A dashing and completely sober young man
Kenny - A stocky, stoned and very drunk guy of about the same age

Kenny: What's your name?
Flibby: I'm sorry?
Kenny: What's your name?
Flibby: Flibby.
Kenny: Kenny.
Flibby: Nice t' meetcha.

[Pause]

Kenny: You gay?
Flibby: Heh. Yeah.
Kenny: Me, too.
Flibby: Great.

[Pause]

Kenny: Where do you live?
Flibby: Hell's Kitchen.
Kenny: What?
Flibby: Hell's Kitchen.
Kenny: Oh.

[Pause]

Kenny: I'm just waiting for the train.
Flibby: Yup. Me, too.

[Pause]

Kenny: Shit.
Flibby: What:
Kenny: I pissed my pants.
Flibby: What?!
Kenny: ha ha ha I pissed my pants ha ha ha
Flibby: Damn, dude.

[Pause]

[The A Train arrives]

Flibby: Well, here it is.
Kenny: Oh? What is this?
Flibby: A
Kenny: Oh.

[Pause]

Kenny: Well, I'll see you.
Flibby: Ok.

[Train doors close and the two part ways]

See there? I totally could have had a new boyfriend right there. But noooo... he was "'too drunk" and "too stoned" and "too covered in his own urine."

Clearly, I'm too picky about these things.