February 26, 2007

First Day on the Train

Today was my first day going from Astoria to work in the morning by way of the N/W trains. These trains are notoriously crowded in the morning and I found that that reputation is well-earned.

I get on the train at the Broadway stop, which is the fourth stop from the last stop on the line, Ditmars. According to rumors from my friend who lives over there and gets on the train at the Ditmars stop, the train fills up there. Then, it goes to the Astoria stop where more people pack in. Then it goes to the next stop, I forget what it is, where more people pack in. Then it gets to the Broadway stop, where I pack in.

There are three, I think, stops after that before the train gets to Manhattan and at each stop, more people try to pack in. At some point, people seem to start trying to get a running start in order to jam into the train.

I am happy to announce that I am not yet with child, but I do expect to conceive before too many of these train rides. I do not expect to know the father.

At the Lexington stop, 75% of the people get off the train, though, without so much as a 'thank you' or a 'I'll call you.' This is because clearly all that before was just meaningless talk to get into my pants and break my heart and because the Lexington station is a place where you can change to lots of other trains.

I don't know what the solution is to this. I thought about just urinating on everyone around me to see if they move away, but I think it might be a better idea if MTA would just send more trains out to us in Queens. Of course, I think if they did that then it might lead people in the outer boroughs to the erroneous conclusion that they matter at all. That's just crazy talk right there.

Posted by Flibbertigibbet at February 26, 2007 11:11 AM | TrackBack
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