May 18, 2006

Apropros and Still So Wrong

I use Google's personalized homepage and one of the features is a How To section. The topics that turn up there are shockingly wide in range.

How to Delete your Usage History Tracks in Windows
How to Add Color to a Fluorescent Light
How to Make Essential Oils
How to Build a Lamp
How to Make Hanging Earrings
How to Oil Paint
How to Learn Speed Reading
How to Ollie
How to Adopt a Baby from China
How to Create a Packing Tape Sculpture
How to Get over Regrets

I thought, in light of yesterday's musings, it was a little bit appropriate that "How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust" turned up on my list today.

I didn't expect anything great, but the suggestions they give are so trite that I was gobstoppped.

While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction between love, lust and infatuation clearer for yourself.

1. Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. Example words on your brainstorm list could include love, butterflies, sex, holding hands, annoying snoring, gorgeous, etc.

2. Circle each attribute with a different color such as red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love.

3. See which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight.

4. Read literature and scriptures on the topic. Questions about love are timeless questions that have consumed mankind throughout the ages and are a major theme in many scriptures, tales from mythology, and literature. Read the story of David and Bathsheba from Jewish scriptures, 1st Corinthians from Christian scriptures, the story of Ali and Fatima, Narcissus and Echo, or Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

5. Ask your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust.

6. Watch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions" (which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You" (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and, finally, "Titanic" (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love).

I can kind of understand some young person doing these things, but what boggles me is that some adult sat down and wrote this down for these How To pages. I don't think they were joking either.

Posted by Flibbertigibbet at May 18, 2006 09:03 AM | TrackBack
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