May 17, 2006

Le Sigh: Ruminations on This and That

I have pretty much decided that whatever knocked me on my butt on Sunday and Monday was not food poisoning. It just didn't feel like that and I have a little cold again. It's minor, though, and should be wrapped up in a few days.

Good thing, too. My family is coming into town this weekend.

I don't think my father has ever been to NYC and I'm sure my sister hasn't. It's been years, decades even, since my mother has been through these parts. They're getting excited about the trip and I sort of am as well.

I wish they were staying in a hotel instead of crashing in my studio apartment with me. Fortunately, my sleeper sofa was delivered on Saturday so everyone has a bed to sleep in.

I'm supposed to be cleaning and getting everything ready for them, but I feel kind of lazy about it right now. My apartment isn't cluttered enough to be annoying, so cleaning is not a very pressing need for me.

I will likely undertake to do it all on Saturday before they officially roll into town.

You know that cute guy I told you about? Well, I haven't seen him since the day of our lunch date because he went out of town for family stuff. He'll be back on Wednesday, which is the day my family leaves.

He and I have talked, chatted, text messaged pretty much every day since he left. Stupid things, too.

"How's work?" "I miss you." "Wake up, sleepyhead!" "How's your sister's graduation?" "Hope you're having a good day!"

"Whacha doing?" was the message I received about 30 minutes ago. "Watchin' teevee. You?" I said back.

(I even text message in complete words and sentences with punctuation.)

I've had to clear the messages out of my phone twice already because the memory limit was exceeded.

Fortunately, we're on the same cell network so our messages don't cost anything.

But I am really amazed at how much nothing two people can exchange and really want more of it.

He went book shopping the other day and bought a copy of Atlas Shrugged. He's not ready for it. I'm pleased he recognized how important it is to me and I certainly want him to read it. But I think it is something a person needs to be mentally prepared for.

To really enjoy Atlas Shrugged, you have to be mentally acute. You have to practice clarity and honesty. For lack of a better way to put it, you have to be innocent.

Red is innocent in lots of ways. I think his most charming characteristic is his playful, silly enthusiasm. Sometimes it borders on being "too gay" at a blush, but then he balances it out with an earnestness that endears.

But he's not ready for Atlas Shrugged. He's used to giving in to what other people want and letting other people make decisions. I worry that he's not independent enough to appreciate the book.

These are observations I've made after seeing him three short times and having a few phone calls. Naturally, I'm still extending to him the benefit of the doubt.

I'm wary of dating Objectivists to be honest.

I agree with Objectivism, but my sense of many people who are young in Objectivism is that they're still working on integrating many of the concepts into their lives. Their subconscious doesn't yet have it. As a result, their sense of life is not yet there. I'm still learning a lot about Objectivism and I used to be (perhaps still am to an extent) that sort of person.

There are other things, too. So, it seems to me that I would like to either date a person who has the right sense of life through their own efforts without having studied Objectivism or someone to whom Objectivism is old news and they've settled into practicing virtue without so much bluster.

I'm not willing to mentor someone through Objectivism. I'm not even really willing to actively convert someone to it. Gentle nudges, perhaps, but little more.

Two dates. A few phone calls. A million text messages. It's WAY too early to think too far ahead.

So, I'm really excited about my family leaving and going on another date with Red. We're going to dinner on Wednesday and then we're going to go see X-men 3 on Friday or Saturday or Sunday. And at some point we're going to go on a picnic up in the Cloisters if the weather is nice.

It's hard not to get carried away thinking about it. And then it's hard not to get into a sour mood thinking about how badly all this could go.

Well, I really should do something to clean up around here.

Update: Oh! And before anyone decides to tell me to "relax" and stop thinking about it so much and to just see how things go. I know. I've heard it before. But thinking about stuff is what I do.

Posted by Flibbertigibbet at May 17, 2006 08:33 PM | TrackBack
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