Flibbertigibbet

Overheard in the Office

Flibby
Did you know that I am a god?

I just found out myself, so keep it on the low-low until I figure out how to smite people.

http://flibbertigibbet.mu.nu/archives/054966.php

Our Favorite Piano Pedagogue
a god?

Flibby
Yes.

OFPP
lemme check this out.

Flibby
Like holier than all and creation and judgment and all that

smiting and what not.

And all verbs referring to me shall now endeth in 'eth'

So it has been said. Let it be done.

OFPP
I think that other gods might have a problem with this.

Flibby
Let them bringeth it, then.

You thought that other god was a wrathful, jealous god.

Hell hath no fury!

OFPP
like Flibby the god.

Flibby
Flibby: The God of Everything that is Worth Anything At All

And laserbeams.

Especially laserbeams

KABOOM!

OFPP
nothing's happening. Try again.

Flibby
Maybe not where you are...

But somewhere someone just had some serious thunder and lightning.

I need to work on my accuracy, but the power is there.

OFPP
That's amazing.

Flibby
Some say "Miraculous"

If I set my divine powers toward the success of my rap career, I think my fans shall calleth me "Miraculous F!"

OFPP
miracle schmiracle.

Flibby
I'm sorry. Did you just blaspheme?

I like you and all but don't think I won't have you smote to uphold the divine order of the universe I have created.

I know people who can do that you know -- like ME.

KABOOM!

OFPP
Some poor child in Africa just got blown to bits. Don't you think you're overreacting just a bit?

Flibby
It's part of my image I have to maintain.

It comes with the territory.

Since my power does span the known and unknown universe, I'm getting a sense that perfecting my aim is going to be a whole process of continual improvement.

OFPP
Practice makes perfect, but remember the babies.

Flibby
BABIES ARE SINNERS, TOO!

Actually... since I'm the boss, I get to change that rule.

Let it heretofore be known that there is no such thing as "original sin."

I should issue a set of commandments.

Number 1) Stay the hell out of my way.

um. I think that's all.

And it's ok if people put my commandment up in a courtroom, too.

OFPP
[OFPP brings us breakfast at the office every Friday. You can understand why I have her cannonized.]
Everyone's bitching about not having meat for this morning's breakfast. Can you turn them into cows?

Flibby
I think that's some Indian god's job, but I can give it a shot.

There is meat in this morning's breakfast.

I remember distinctly seeing all manner of pork product in there.

Pork is meat.

OFPP
Not enough apparently.

Flibby
Hi. Free breakfast. Shut the f!bomb up.

OFPP
Thank you! Ingrates!

Flibby
INFIDELS!

KABOOM!

OFPP
Ack! That was probably my nephew's dog.

Flibby
I hope not. I like dogs.

You can be a saint if you want.

OFPP
I AM a saint, thank you.

Flibby
See? That's the kind of attitude I like to see in my saints.

I hereby grant you liberty to do some miracles, too.

Not too much, though. I don't want people to forget who's in charge.

Saint of the Holy Order of Piano Pedagogy
Laserbeams, too?

Flibby

Oh yes. Definitely laserbeams.

Everyone gets laserbeams.

Saint HOPP
WHEEeeee!

Flibby
[She lent My Holiness a CD earlier and said that it's one of her favorites.]

This is a very good CD

Saint HOPP
What a relief! With this whole god development, I feared I might get blown to bits once I dismissed you as a friend. [In the event that I didn't like the CD.]

Flibby
Well, you'd just go to hell.

We could still hang out.

Saint HOPP
good to know, good to know.

Posted by Flibbertigibbet at November 19, 2004 09:49 AM