Flibbertigibbet

The News is Fit to Print, But We Can't Write It

AL.com: Girl, 11, faces DUI charge after chase

Orange Beach police arrested an 11-year-old girl Tuesday night and charged her with driving under the influence of alcohol after a high-speed chase that ended when the child flipped the Chevrolet Monte Carlo she was driving.

[...]

According to Duck: The Monte Carlo exceeded speeds of 100 mph in the ensuing chase, which flew west along the beach highway through Orange Beach, past Gulf State Park and into Gulf Shores -- a distance of about 8 miles. The Monte Carlo eventually sideswiped another vehicle and then flipped over near the easternmost condo towers of Gulf Shores.

[...]

While the legal blood-alcohol content for adults is .08 grams per 100 milliliters of blood, the limit for anyone under 21 is .02. Without disclosing her blood-alcohol content, Duck said the 11-year-old had enough alcohol in her system that she could have been charged with DUI even if she had been an adult.

Though the child's weight is undisclosed, a 140-pound adult would generally have to drink four beers in one hour to achieve a blood-alcohol level of .08.

Finding an adequately written article for this story that I originally heard on CNN Headline News this morning was a pain! I'm so frustrated with how poorly written these news stories are that I can't even comment on this insane story.

I will say this: my favorite part of the story is that on CNN they reported that the girl said that she was on her way to pick up her sister.

Say whaaaaaaat?

In trying to find this article to cite for you guys, I came across this report of the incident on WKRG.com: Drunk Driver In High Speed Chase Only 11-Years Old. I couldn't use it because the article is such a poorly written news story. Seriously, what kind of lead is that? Why are the details buried in all this needless narrative?

On CNN Headline News this morning, they gave all of the relevant details in about three sentences. Of course, I couldn't find the story on CNN.com.

Who is teaching people who to write the news these days? Come on, people! Does the AP have to do everything for you?

Update: Reader Netbuzz brought this to my attention. It's kind of tragically hilarious.