January 02, 2007

Paging Tammy Wynette!

I have no idea why my parents are still married. They've been married for over 30 years now and I just do not understand why they have bothered with it for so long.

That's not true. When they were younger, apparently they had a frightening physical chemistry. And for whatever that's worth they've been together far longer than MY good sense would dictate. But it's not my marriage, so I try to bite my tongue.

The problem is that my dad is a lazy man who is prone to extremes. For instance, when my dad started going back to church, he turned into a crazy Jesus lover. He started going to church some four times a week and thumping his Bible at the least of provocations. He forced me and my sister to go to church against our wills saying that as long as we live under his roof, we had to attend the church of his choosing.

And before that he was a smoker from which I believe a series of epa lawsuits were spawned regarding the endangerment of some migratory birds.

Now he's taken up drinking. This, as you might guess, can't go anywhere good. Fortunately, I think his alcohol-related activities are confined to 1) spending too much money on expensive scotch and 2) sleeping.

But my mom isn't entirely innocent in the whole ordeal. She tends to nag and pitch fits. She can be quite high strung. Her worst habit in my opinion is that she simply will not face the facts, particularly when it comes to what sort of person my dad is and for that I really have a hard time sympathizing with my mother's personal hardship.

They've been talking about building a house for years and years. For the past 15 years at least. Well, in 7th grade I remember telling my mother, "You guys are not going to build a house, so I don't know why we bother talking about this so much."

My mother was so upset by that. She told me not to say that because she just knew it would happen.

They still haven't build a house. They haven't even made the first step in that direction and it's 15 years later.

And it's not just my dad, I think. My mom fails to identify other people for who they are, too. Like my sister. No matter how snotty, rude, or ungrateful my sister is, my mom still acts like she has to love her. I can't imagine what my mother thinks of me.

When my mother has complained about my dad, I've tried to explain to her that his behavior is a function of his identity. It's who he is. She's the same way.

And so my mother is talking about divorcing my dad again.

I doubt she'll do it. She's in her mid-50's now. Getting a divorce now will put her in an even more precarious financial situation than the one she's in with him. But she's talking about it.

Really, I kind of think it would be a good idea because I don't see a lot of sense in putting up with things like that longer than necessary. But I dread having to tell my mother than I will not support her in her old age. I've already told her that I will ship her off to an old folk's farm at her expense if she turns to me. Maybe that's why she bothers with my sister, because I know my sister would take care of them.

Posted by Flibbertigibbet at January 2, 2007 10:46 AM | TrackBack
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