November 15, 2006

I Went to the Desert on a Horse with No Name

There are a couple of complete idiots at my work, but there are also some people who aren't complete idiots who just have fits of complete idiocy. Consider the following.

Last week, a guy came into a meeting and said, "I just found out that Jack and Jill are dating!"

I don't know Jill, but I hate Jack, so I really didn't care.

Later, someone said with regard to a project, "Jill is going to work on this for you."

I said, "Who's Jill?"

"Oh, you know, Suzie."

"Suzie?" I asked with a cocked head.

"Oh yeah. Suzie is the new Jill, so we call Suzie Jill sometimes."

I thought, "Wait. So, SUZIE is dating Jack?" I didn't ask them about it, though, because it took a bit for me to remember the dating gossip.

It didn't make any sense. Suzie is hot. Jack is not. Suzie is sweet, pleasant, and intelligent. Jack is loud, obnoxious, ill-mannered, a know-it-all, and a butthead. I can't believe Suzie would date Jack.

So, today, I was talking to someone else and Jack came up.

I said, "Is Jack dating Suzie?"

They exclaimed, "WHAT? NO! That's ridiculous!"

I said, "Well, others said the other day that Jack was dating Jill and then they told me that they call Suzie 'Jill.' So, I thought they were saying Jack is dating Suzie and it didn't make any sense to me either."

They said, "Jack is dating who?"

I said, "Jill."


"But Jill is Suzie."


"They call Suzie 'Jill.' "

"Why would they do that?"

"I don't know. They just told me that Suzie is the new Jill and I don't know Jill, but that's what they said they call Suzie now."

"Oh. No, Suzie has Jill's old job, but Jill doesn't work with us any more. Jill is Suzie's roommate, though."

So, eventually it got straightened out.

How stupid is it to actually call someone by someone else's name just because that person took over their job?

Every single conversation related to Jack dating and the Jill/Suzie Name Fiasco irritated me. It was like living in the world of Who's on First.

Posted by Flibbertigibbet at November 15, 2006 02:46 PM | TrackBack

[PETERMAN and PEGGY are sitting in his office. There are two empy chairs. The window overlooks central park.]


[entering, uneasy] Mr. Peterman, Peggy, I.. guess we, should just get this over with. [sits]


Just Hold On a minute. Still One Short.



No, we're not--


Susie has been very rude to me.


Well, Elaine, has nothing but Good things to say about Susie.



[engaging smile] We don't have to name names, or, point fingers, or..

[breathes in] name names!

[indicating empty chair] Me and her, have had our problems. She and I have had our problems! You and I, and she and you--


Don't you drag me into this! This is between you and her, and her. [indicating empty chair]


Yes! And I am convinced that if she were here with us today, she would agree with me, too.




[uh-oh] Her?


Where is she?!


Ah--this is part of the problem!


Iiii thought I was, part of this problem.


[smiling, convincing] You're a, huuge part of the problem. But, I think that at it's core, this is a Susie-and-Elaine problem that

requires, a Susie-and-Elaine solution! And, who better to do that than.. Elaine and Susie! Susie and Elaine!


Well, now that we have that cleared up.. why don't the three of us have lunch.


[feigning hearing something] What?! Oh! Oh, I'm, coming! I--I gotta go. [rushes out!]

Posted by: Matt Chancellor at November 15, 2006 05:30 PM

It's like the know me!

Posted by: Flibby at November 15, 2006 06:40 PM