Flibbertigibbet

Shirt Stays

I know that this post will not help dissipate Matt's image of me as Niles from Frasier, but here I go anyway.

I strolled down to Macy's on my lunch break today to find some shirt stays.

Macy's is a big department store. They sell all sorts of things. Shirt stays are kind of rare these days, I suppose. You only see them really along with formal wear and uniforms, but I didn't think they were so endangered that a store the size of Macy's would fail to have them.

I walked in and asked one of the ladies, "Do you sell shirt stays?"
"Shirt stage?"
"Stays."
"Shirt stays?"
"Yes."
"What is that?"

*sigh*

Shirt stays are elastic straps that clip to your shirt tail and socks to keep your shirt from bunching or coming untucked.

In an episode of the Cosby show, Heathcliff Huxtable told his son, Theo, that they were to hold his socks up before people invented elastic. Ha! Ha! Remember that? It was so funny. That Bill Cosby is such a joker.

The last time I wore shirt stays was actually prom night. They came with the tuxedo that I rented. I thought they were nifty.

Anyway, shirt stays have been on my mind, so I went to Macy's.

I ran the ladies on the first floor all over looking for them. Then, when I asked where the formal wear department is, they looked puzzled again. I can kind of understand not knowing where the shirt stays are, but formal wear? You're fired.

They suggested the third floor, so up I went. It was not the formal wear department at all. But I saw a fussy looking older man there and I asked him about them.

He actually seemed delighted that someone would ask him about shirt stays or some other arcane device of male fashion.

"No," he sniffed, "We don't carry them. We should, but I haven't seen them for years. I hate to send you somewhere else, but I got my last pair at Bloomingdales. They should also have them at Lord & Taylor or Brooks Brothers. Any place on Fifth Avenue."

I thanked him for the tip and left Macy's.

I really didn't think that it would be this difficult.