Flibbertigibbet

Tempting Fate

People who don't know me well are sometimes surprised to learn that I am a vicious, cruel, hateful person. My boss to this day describes me as "pleasant," and "friendly." While it is true that I am generally a polite and friendly person, I also possess the ability to hate people on sight.

Just ask Philip Seymore Hoffman. I hate that @$#(@#$. I have always hated him since the first moment I saw him. I hate the way he looks. I hate the way he talks. I can't stand him!

And I feel no shame at my hate either. So, don't bother telling me how talented PSH is. I hate him.

In a professional environment, my talent for malice can create some difficult situations because now and again I encounter people I loathe. Maybe it's the way they talk. Maybe it's the way they look. I don't know, but I hate them.

On the upside, if I hate someone at work, it's probably because they're actually asshats who don't do their jobs properly.

Case in point: when I started here I was assigned to work with someone who had been on the team for a long time. I took one look at him and I hated him. After a mere two days in the office and never having done an ounce of work, I determined that this schmuck was a... schmuck. In spite of everyone saying how great he was, I knew they were lying.

A few weeks after I started, he quit and the truth came out. He was a schmuck who wasn't doing his job properly.

Fortunately, he's gone.

Well, a couple weeks after I started, this other guy started who sat near me. Hated him. He was pretentious, noisy, and just dumb.

All of a sudden, about two weeks ago, he quit. Apparently, he had been cheating on his wife and she left him and he quit to go after her or something. I don't know. It's the kind of Jerry Springer-esque drama asshats get involved in.

I'm still in awe of it. The two people in the office I hate most quit within a few months!

Well, I've found a new person to hate.

He's been here for a while. He's not hate-able on sight, though. He's someone you have to talk to for five seconds before you hate him. But five seconds is all it takes.

He's a know-it-all. He interrupts people when they're talking. He doesn't listen to you when you present him with information. He's just a tool.

So, I'm hoping he'll leave soon, too!

It would be amazing. There were people at my last company that I hated from the very start who are still there. This place seems to be subject to my psychic vibrations, though. So, I'm hoping he'll quit, too.

After he leaves, I'm not sure who I'll hate. There are obnoxious people here, but none I HATE, so it will be really weird not to have someone to plan an assassination for.

I'll keep you posted.