Flibbertigibbet

And Can I Tell You About Something Funny that Happened?

I always tell people that if they don't feel like being bothered by someone, they should just say, "I don't speak English."

Don't bother affecting an accent or anything. Just say, "I don't speak English," and leave it at that.

Well, I was on the subway yesterday and this guy came on and started doing acrobatics in the train and dancing and stuff. The woman next to me turned and smiled at me and said, "It's cool."

I smiled and leaned over to her, "I kind of hope the train stops suddenly just to see what happens."

And she says to me, without an accent, "I don't speak English."

"What?"

"I don't speak English."

Incredulous now, "Oh, you don't?"

"No."

"Well, what do you speak?"

"Espanish" Yeah, now suddenly there's an accent.

"Vale. Espero que el tren se pare."

"ha ha! Nooooo!!!" she says laughing but also shocked.

"hee hee hee... Yeah. Solo un poco."

"He's cool," she says.

"Yep."

Now, she obviously really did speak Spanish. The English she used wasn't complicated and many people can say those phrases at a minimum. But she had no accent and she responded well to what I said.

Shocking.