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Southern Expressions You Need

For some reason we were talking about Southern expressions the other day and I compiled this short list of ones that came to mind:

So crowded you can't cuss a cat without getting fur in your mouth.
Really crowded.

Busier than a one-armed paper hanger.
Really busy.

Slicker than snot on a doorknob.
Really slippery or really tricky.

Colder than a witch's tit in a brass brassier on the shady side of an igloo.
(Often shortened) Really cold.

Meaner than a striped snake.
Really mean.

As serious as a heart attack. Also As serious as cancer.
Really serious.

A gully-washer
A heavy rain.

So stupid that you couldn't pour water out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel.
Really stupid.

Two shakes of a dogs tail
A short amount of time.

A month of Sundays
A long period of time.

As sharp as a sack full of wet mice
Not very smart at all.

Better than a sharp stick in the eye.
Not the worst thing in the world.

Bless her/his heart
May be used as an expression of genuine sympathy or appreciation of something cute, but generally used prior to saying something mean.

For example, "Bless her heart, but she didn't have to leave the house like that." Or "Bless his heart, if you put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a six-lane highway."

As ugly as a can of mashed ass.
Quite unpleasant in appearance.

As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Really anxious.

Actin' like you ain't got no mama.
Misbehaving shamelessly.