Flibbertigibbet

Overheard on the Telephone

Scene: I lept out of the shower yesterday morning -- soaking wet -- to answer the phone.

Telemarketer: Mr. Flibbertigibbet, [pronounced incorrectly] I have a great offer! blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...

Flibby: I'm not interested.

Telemarketer: But it's a great offer! blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... [the same blah blah blah... as before]

Flibby: I'm not interested.

Telemarketer: May I ask why?

Flibby: I consider my interest alone to be primary in this circumstance.

Telemarketer: Excuse me?

Flibby: I am not interested and I consider that to be primary with regard to your offer. I simply have no interest.

Telemarketer: But it's a great offer! blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... [the same blah blah blah... as before] Do you understand the terms of this great offer, Mr. Flibbertigibbet?

Flibby: Oh yes. I am quite familiar with the terms and my level interest has not changed in spite of you repeating those terms thrice over now.

Telemarketer: Thank you, Mr. Flibbertigibbet. [Still pronouncing it incorrectly.] Is there anything else I can do for you today?

Flibby: You've done nothing for me today already. You've only interrupted my shower and kept me standing here cold, wet, naked, and dripping on the floor for 5 minutes listening to you repeat yourself in spite of me clearly stating my lack of interest. If this is your usual level of service, I would beg of you to please provide no more.

Telemarketer: I'm very sorry for the trouble, sir. Have a good day.

Flibby: Good day, sir.

I hate it for telemarketers. They're just trying to get paid. That's why I remain polite and don't yell. I let them speak and politely decline their offers. Bless their hearts!

Go, get you another job, Punjabi. Somewhere they won't make you call mean people who don't want your discount card! Go! Go, now!