Flibbertigibbet

An Open Letter to Harry Potter

Dear Harry Potter:

I have recently finished reading the biography of your 5th year at Hogwarts, the boarding school for magical children in the UK. I am pleased that you have once over survived rather harrowing adventures with your body and most of your mind intact.

A shame about Snuffles, though. You have my condolences.

I am quite excited about the fourth cinematic installation of your adventures coming out later this year, but I cannot in good conscience go on observing your adventures in silence. I am writing to you now because since year four, I have noticed that you've developed some troubling habits. You yell at people. You do not listen. You make snarky remarks to people who do not deserve them.

You deserve a good thrashing -- and I hope Ron gives it to you even if he doesn't know how to fight like a muggle -- for your behavior toward your friends, but I will settle for the following advice:

1) Sit down and shut up.

2) Professor Snape is a frail, small human being, but someone from whom you could profit if you would just heed item one above.

3) Listen to Hermione, Dumbledore, McGonnagal, Lupin, and Mrs. Weasley. (All in proper amounts, of course.)

4) Be honest. Don't just sit there having premonitions but telling no one. You really are a fool for that.

Thank you for your time. Carry on.

Sincerely
Flibbertigibbet