Flibbertigibbet

Snot Rockets in Costa Rica

We're in another internet cafe. I was really puzzled by my travelling companion's increasing anxiety over checking his email. I mean, we're on the beach where there are hotties frollicking about in the sand and he's fretting over his email. What's up with that?

Well, the truth came out last night over dinner. Apparently, he and his husband are expecting a child soon. If you're a little taken aback by that, I might also add that the mother is half of a lesbian couple of a different race.

It seems strange to me that someone of such liberal polics as my friend would choose to bring a child into this world so overwhelmingly disadvantaged by station and race. Liberals, you may well know, choose to consider people largely not my the choices they make in life, but the things that they don't choose in life, like race and gender and ancestry.

Even so, I like babies. That's not what I wanted to tell you about.

I wanted to tell you about how he's making me nuts.

One: He shoots snot rockets ALL the time. The first time he did it, he said 'excuse me.' And I sort of grunted to acknowledge that it is both digusting and forgiven. Since then, he has done it almost nonstop every time we're out on a hike.

Two: He is a noisy eater. He smacks and slurps and licks. I hate those sounds and it takes every ounce of concentration I have to not make myself puke on his plate to express my disgust. (I can do that if I need to.)

Three: He burps a lot. He hasn't farted yet, but there are all manner of noises coming from this man's body at any given moment of the day. I am not impressed by this at all, but I am somewhat impressed that his husband is able to deal with it so well.

Four: He mistakes my politics. This man seems to think that "All MBA's think alike." I assure you that they do not. He also said that, "All MBA's are greedy and believe in market economics." I assure, again, that those things aren't true. In the first place, he doesn't even mean that. He means that most MBA's are Republican and indeed, many are. But that is not the same thing as being a free market capitalist in the least.

Five: His politics are ragingly liberal. Next time I consider going on vacation alone with someone with a masters in sociology, just... well, please just discourage me, ok? Send me a link to this post or something.

Oh... he just cleared his throat at me indicating that I should look at his screen. The lesbians have just reported that the one is pregnant. She's all of two weeks pregnant. I'm no OBGYN or anything, but isn't it a bit early to get all excited about it? I'm not saying anything WILL go wrong, but two weeks just seems a bit soon to me.

Update: He just burped several times in a row and I can smell his dinner.