Flibbertigibbet

I'm Flibby McFreak of the Freakville McFreaks

My grandmother will not die if sent to the electric chair.

I don't know if that's really true, but I do know that she conducts electricity better than most; she can touch live wires without any harm coming to her. My grandfather used to have her test the electric fence to see if it was working because she could feel the current, but it just didn't hurt. Sometimes she would use her powers for evil and touch people while she was holding onto something with a charge running through it. (She is my favorite gramma.)

Then came my mother who got a Donald Duck watch as a gift. In my family, when a child learns to tell analog time, they are given an analog watch as a present. The first day she wore hers, it took to running backwards. They quickly learned that unless a watch was labeled as having been demagnetized, it would always run backwards for her.

Now there's me. I can be electrocuted and my watches run just fine, but apparently I still have the weird science gene -- I screw up the reception in your appliances.

When I was little, my very presence would interfere with the television reception at my neighbor's house and my aunt's house. The screen would get fuzzier, the closer I got to it. I remember once I was playing blind mans bluff with the neighbor kids and they could always tell when I went past the living room because the tv was on and the static would get loud.

In my house, I have wireless speakers. These days I'm listening to Brahms on a 24/7 rotation, but I have to keep the speakers up on a high shelf, because if they're too low, my movements through the house interfere with the reception. I mapped it out once and if one of the speakers is in my 'wake' as I stand between it and the transmitter, no music gets through -- it's replaced by loud static. I don't know if this happens to everyone, but one day I will remember to test it.

I bring it up now because this weekend, the phenomenon came up again. I went into a store with a old radio sitting on the floor and every time I approached it, the signal was lost completely. The clerk looked up once to see if someone was messing with the station, but I was just walking by minding my own business. I watched other people walk past the radio and nothing happened, so I went back to it and, sure enough, it got staticky again.

My interfering effect is actually pretty minor; don't let my bringing up my mother and grandmother lead you to believe that I'm a walking radar black spot or anything. These days most TVs and radios are strong or robust enough to clearly recieve a signal even when I'm nearby, so I only notice it when I notice things like my wireless speakers acting up.

Anyway, it's just too bad I didn't get a good superpower like being able to fly or turn invisible or withstand electric shocks.

Withstanding electric shocks would be really good right now because it's really dry in my house and my fingers are almost numb from just touching light switches.