December 19, 2004

An Open Letter to Food Lion

Dear Food Lion

Today, I had the pleasure of shopping at your Jefferson, GA location. Here, by 'pleasure' I mean 'sphincter spasming experience.'

While I do applaud the business saavy behind the decision to hire cashiers and baggers exclusively from the juvenile detention center, I would like to suggest that they get more training. I totally saw that one girl put my produce in with my ground beef.

You will never manage to kill me if I see you trying.

I will admit, though, that the wench was very good at playing dumb; she acted as if nothing was amiss when I pointed out that she had mixed my veggies and raw meat.

Oh but I did see the spark of recognition when I pointed out to her that I was well aware of the debilitating effects of Escherichia coli O157:H7. I saw fear in her eyes -- she knew she had been caught -- when I painted a graphic picture of the diarrhea and cramping E. Coli causes.

We were both clearly aware of the 61 annual deaths from E. coli and we shared a hearty laugh. But I will have the last laugh yet, Food Lion. Not only will I thoroughly cook my hamburger, but I will ALSO wash my vegetables.

FOOLS, you will have to get up pretty early in the morning to catch me in such a heavy-handed plot. We'll see what you can come up with next week.

A Loyal Customer and Best Friends Forever

Posted by Flibbertigibbet at December 19, 2004 05:31 PM
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