October 06, 2004

French People Aren't All Bad

Lest this post give you the impression otherwise, I do want to say that I firmly believe that there are some decent, rational French folk in this world somewhere.

This is a conversation I had tonight with a second-generation French person. I now refuse to talk to him as a result of this conversation.

Flibby: Hey HEY hey! I’m drinking Freedom Wine tonight!

Flibby: What are you up to?

Frenchie: gross.

Flibby: What’s gross?

Frenchie: ‘freedom’

Flibby: Aww… You’re Freedom, aren’t you?

Flibby: One day I hope to visit the country of Freed and eat lots of Freedom food and maybe even learn to speak Freedom!

Frenchie: It’s French, thank you.

Flibby: You can say that if you want, but I will be spreading a different rumor.

Frenchie: Vous êtes un exemple parfait de pourquoi les français détestent des Américains

Flibby: I don’t care what the French people think about Americans. If they’re smart, they’ll love me when they meet me.

Flibby: I don’t know why the French are bothering to hate Americans anyway.

Flibby: I, for one, give very little thought to French people.

Frenchie: Maybe Americans are jealous of the French because Americans are fat and ignorant.

Flibby: I’m American and I’m not fat and ignorant.

Frenchie: I can’t tell with the way you’re talking tonight.

Flibby: Maybe you need to get your sense of humor about you.

Flibby: You should be tickled that the word “French” has been equated with the word “Freedom.”

Frenchie: Well, I’m not.

Flibby: Fine. Give me a shout when you get your head out of your ass.

Frenchie: what is your problem tonight?

Flibby: I could ask you the same.

Frenchie: you think its funny but my entire family is french, my parents and sisters were born there

Frenchie: and your making jokes

Frenchie: i hear enough about it

Flibby: Do you believe that being French has anything to do with your quality as an individual?

Frenchie: no but it's my heritage

Frenchie: and my family is proud

Flibby: So?

Flibby: I don't care about your family.

Flibby: I don't care about the whole country of France.

Flibby: I am interested in YOU the individual.

Frenchie: ok.

Frenchie: well part of me

Frenchie: is that i am french

Flibby: And if being French means you have to think like a member of the herd, then I want you to stop.

Frenchie: i'm not thinking like a member of the herd

Flibby: Then you should be able to take a joke.

Frenchie: i am thinking just as you would if you came from another country

Flibby: Much in the way that I can joke about fat, stupid Americans.

Frenchie: whatever

Flibby: Exactly.

Frenchie: no not exactly.

Frenchie: you're just trying to make me look stupid

Flibby: You're acting stupid right now.

Frenchie: no i'm not

Frenchie: i'm not in a good mood. and you pushed the wrong button

Flibby: I can tell you're not in a good mood.

Flibby: But that's not my fault.

Flibby: At this point I'm not even interested in the fact that you are in a bad mood because you're behaving like an ass to me.

Frenchie: there is a lot you don't know about me AND my family and i've led on before that i don't appreciate you making jokes about france, and anything to do with is

Frenchie: it

Flibby: Again, stop thinking like a member of a herd and think like an individual.

Flibby: France doesn't control how you think.

Flibby: Neither does your family.

Flibby: So, think for yourself.

Flibby: De-nationalize yourself or something.

Frenchie: well mine does. i was also raised a lot differently than you.

Frenchie: so maybe our opinions differ.

Flibby: This isn't really an opinion. An opinion is like your favorite color.

Flibby: This is a difference in epitemology

Frenchie: and it's epistemology

Flibby: Yeah. It's a typo.

Frenchie: i think that there is nothing wrong with me being proud of my country. and my family.

Flibby: No. There isn't.

Flibby: There is a problem with you behaving like you are your country and your family.

Flibby: There is also a problem with you not getting a joke.

Flibby: And finally there is a problem with you being rude to me.

Flibby: replacing the word "French" with the word "Freedom" is absurd

Flibby: It's completely ridiculous.

Flibby: If you can't see the absurdity in that joke, you're hurtin', bro.

Frenchie: you're ridiculous

Flibby: This is a perfect illustration of why you're so conflicted all the time.

Flibby: You can't think about yourself.

Frenchie: please, enlighten me

Flibby: France was the birthplace of the Enlightenment. By your thinking, I should be getting lectures from you on that.

Flibby: Look, do whatever you gotta do.

Flibby: If you don't want to talk to me, that's fine.

Flibby: But if you are going to talk to me, one of the rules is that you can't act like a spoiled brat.

Flibby: If we are not in agreement on those things, then it's best if we part ways.

Frenchie: you're just offensive sometimes

Flibby: You don't know the meaning of the words.

Frenchie: but this constant nescience is obviously a contrivance of your upbringing, i can't blame you.

Flibby: Have you considered the option that perhaps I'm the product of my own devices?

Frenchie: maybe.

Flibby: Well, that is the case.

Flibby: And you should treat me as such.

Flibby: That's how I treat you.

Frenchie: regardless

Frenchie: you do not

Flibby: I do, too.

Flibby: I do not treat you as if you are the seedling of some country or the spawn of some clan.

Flibby: I treat you as if you think for yourself as yourself and yourself alone.

Frenchie: you are so inconversant it's sick.

Flibby: If you want me to consider the feelings of Frenchmen everywhere when talking to you, I'll have to concede that the task is beyond my ability.

Frenchie: a typical southern american

Flibby: Now you're treating me like I'm a member of the herd. You haven't basic courtesy.

Flibby: Good bye.

What kind of damn fool thinks that changing the word "French" to "Freedom" is at all insulting? Criminy.

I will point out that this is a young person of 20 years in age. I worry for the children.

Posted by Flibbertigibbet at October 6, 2004 09:30 PM
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