Flibbertigibbet

Overheard in My Bed this Morning

Me: Wake up.

Me: No.

Me: Yes. Get up. It's Friday. One more day.

Me: Shut up. It's Saturday. I'm sleeping.

Me: It's Friday.

Me: It's Saturday.

Me: Why would I lie? Get up.

Me: Are you sure?

Me: Stop stalling. Get up.

Me: Maybe I can sleep a little more.

Me: You've overslept by an hour already. If I weren't so compulsive about being early for things you'd REALLY be late for work. Now get up.

Me: I could just tell my boss I thought it was Saturday.

Me: You're fired. Get up.

Me: You can't fire me.

Me: That's actually what he'll say when you try to tell him you thought it was Saturday. Who wants to employ a manager who can't remember what day it is? Get up.

Me: I don't even think he'll be there.

Me: He missed yesterday, so he'll probably be in today to remind us all that he still does work there. Get up.

Me: I don't want to get up.

Me: I don't care. Get up.

Me: It might actually be unhealthy for me to rise so suddenly. The blood will go rushing around in my head. It could cause a blood vessel in my brain to burst and then I'd die.

Me: I'll risk it. Get up.

Me: but--

Me: GET UP NOW.

Me: You don't have to yell.

Me: You don't know yelling. Get up.

Me: It's Friday. They should make a rule that sleeping in is ok on Fridays.

Me: Let me get this straight: You think there should be a rule that lets people sleep in on Fridays because you happen to have stayed up past your bedtime last night?

Me: Yes.

Me: Shut up. Get up.

Me: You're mean.

Me: You're lazy. Get up.

Me: If we combined our powers we would make a perfect dictator: Someone who sits on his ass all day and bosses people around.

Me: That's what we do now, but at the office. You're going to be 3 minutes late now. Get up.

Me: Just three?

Me: GET UP.

Me: How do you know it's three?

Me: Four now. Move.

Me: Won't it be exciting to go to the movies this weekend? We've not been to the movies alone in a very long time.

Me: We can talk about this in the shower or in the car or anywhere but lying in bed being a slackass.

Me: You're totally killing my buzz.

Me: You're making me sick of me. Get up now.

Me: *SIGH* Fine.

Me: Thank you.

Me: But maybe I should rearrange my pillows so they'll be nice and neat.

Me: I'm going to kick your ass so hard.

Me: What? You like things neat! I'm just helping.

Me: GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED THIS MINUTE!

Me: Fine. geez. You just had to ask.