January 25, 2009

Overheard in a Commercial

Lady spokesperson: Climbing the corporate model was never this hard on my knees!

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 10:53 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 17 words, total size 1 kb.

January 24, 2009

Overheard in a Party

Flibbert: How come when my room is blazing hot, no air comes through the window to cool things off, but when it's cold in there, it blows a lot?

Party-Goer: God hates you.

Flibbert: If that's the case, I would think the Devil would do something to correct it.

Roommate: But you don't believe in the Devil.

Flibbert: No, but assuming they do exist, the Devil should want to help me continue in my disbelief.  The best thing the Devil has going for him is the complete and utter lack of evidence for God.  So, he needs to get on it and make my room comfortable!

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 09:19 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 110 words, total size 1 kb.

September 22, 2008

Overheard in Blog Comments

Republicans believe in privatizing profit and socializing fiscal loss. - TedBear


Found in the comments over at Joe.My.God.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 02:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

June 05, 2008

Overheard at the Office

Him: You know me: I don't want to offend any body.

Me: Well, if you're not offending somebody,  you're probably doing something wrong.  You're probably doing something worse, in fact.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 07:26 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.

May 08, 2008

Overheard at the Gym

Flibbert: [proudly] See, if I were a lady, I could have nice, big babies because I have such a wide pelvis.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 09:10 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 24 words, total size 1 kb.

April 19, 2008

Overheard on the Sidewalk

20 Something Homo: Scientology is just like therapy except without the stigma of therapy.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 07:36 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 18 words, total size 1 kb.

April 09, 2008

I'm Doing Science

Flibbert: I just sprayed red ink all over my desk.
It was pretty awesome.
but a terrible mess.

Johndavid: Gross

Flibbert: It looks like blood is splattered on my schema paper.

Johndavid: ha
I love that

Flibbert: I want to spray someone with red ink now.
All it takes is a red ink pen and one of these cans of air.
and then you can make a huge mess.
My trashcan looks like a biohazard.

Johndavid: What in hell were you doing?

Flibbert:science.
Don't judge me.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 11:16 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 89 words, total size 1 kb.

March 06, 2008

Did You Pray to Satan?

Flibbert: Did you pray to Satan about my computer?It's acting wrong.

Johndavid:
No. It would be exploded or something.Not just acting wrong.

Flibbert:
Maybe Satan just sent your call to one of his less competent underlings.

Johndavid:
hahahaha - his underlings are all masterminds.

Flibbert:
So, what you're telling me is that there is no growth potential in hell.I'm giving second thoughts to making evil my career.

Johndavid:
Evil in hell is perfect evil.

Flibbert:
Mm hm.

Johndavid:
Which is a concept that the human brain can't actually conceive.

Flibbert:
Ineffable evil?

Johndavid:
I won't ask you to have faith, because they don't do that in hell either.

Flibbert:
Interesting!I still think something wicked happened to my computer, though.

Johndavid:
But I will ask you to be careful. You don't have to believe in a flaming lizard-monkey demon in order for it to bite you in the ass.And you can quote me on that.

Flibbert:
I will!

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 02:18 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 162 words, total size 2 kb.

January 04, 2008

Overheard in Chat

Flibbert: But I will worry about the logistical problems of the presidents' tacit Socialism when I'm sure he's not going to try to feed it to me from a communion tray.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 10:26 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.

December 11, 2007

Overheard on Teevee

Robin Meade: Do you want to be a top or a bottom?

CNN HNN, Morning Express with Robin Meade
Robin, I love you but I'm not in love with you.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 07:32 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 32 words, total size 1 kb.

November 19, 2007

Overheard in a Diner

Johndavid: What I appreciate about Celine Dion is this: she is a phenomenal singer and has perhaps the best voice of any person alive today, but she still manages to think that she's better than she really is.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 04:01 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 42 words, total size 1 kb.

October 31, 2007

Overheard in a Restaurant

Friend: Did you see the video for Gimme More?

Flibbert: Are you kidding me?  It's garbage.  It's her VMA performance, but it's worse because it has the full production effort of a music video behind it.  It's gross.

Friend: I can see what she was going for though

Flibbert: [still ranting]  And she's supposed to be a stripper but she's scared to swing on the pole?  Whatever.  And she can't walk in heels because SHE'S BEEN WEARING FLIP-FLOPS FOR THE PAST THREE GODDAMN YEARS!!

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 10:05 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 86 words, total size 1 kb.

October 30, 2007

Fascism and the Finns

Coworker #1: I think I have to go back to Finland to meet with [a client of ours].

[some conversation here about t-shirts and things]

Coworker #2: I don't mind the Finns, but do you know what bothers me about them?  They sided with Hitler!!

Coworker #1: Well, yeah, there's that.

Coworker#2: Although when it comes to siding with Hitler, I don't hold it against everyone.  I hold it against the Finns.  I hold it against the Germans, but for some reason I can't hold it against Italy.

Flibbert: That's because they had Mussolini.  They came up with their own f!bombed up sh!t.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 09:32 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 97 words, total size 1 kb.

October 14, 2007

Hogan Knows Subpar

Overheard in Instant Message:

Johndavid: You know who I have realized does not, in fact, know best?
Johndavid: Hogan.

Flibbert: I think that's kind of the point of that show.

Johndavid: Yeah
Johndavid: In there lies the problem.

Flibbert: It's not just that he doesn't know best...
Flibbert: he doesn't even really know regular.

Johndavid: hahahaa

Flibbert: I wouldn't say he knows WORST, but it's subpar.
Flibbert: Hogan knows subpar.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 09:17 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 72 words, total size 1 kb.

September 05, 2007

Hedging Our Bets

Friend: If Google merged with Apple, I would never sin again. I promise.

Flibbert: I will sin ALL. THE. TIME.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 03:28 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 23 words, total size 1 kb.

August 20, 2007

Optional Values

Fantasy Football Dude 1: Aren't you a Jets fan?

Fantasy Football Dude 2: Yeah.

Fantasy Football Dude 1: You don't have any Jets on your team.

Fantasy Football Dude 2: I'm playing for money.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 04:30 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 36 words, total size 1 kb.

August 06, 2007

Overhead in the Elevator

Guy pushing out of the elevator: 'Scuze me

Flibbert: Great. Now I'm pregnant.

Coworker: He said 'excuse me.'

Flibbert: Words won't make the baby go away.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 12:15 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.

July 12, 2007

Overheard at the Gym

Flibbert to L'Italiana: You're the black lady that I aspire to be.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 05:11 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 16 words, total size 1 kb.

June 14, 2007

Overheard on Gay.com

Long-haired, Shirtless Dude hi. nice pic

Flibbert Thanks.
Flibbert Where'd your shirt go?

Long-haired, Shirtless Dude oops.... yeah, it was a momentary lapse of judgement
Long-haired, Shirtless Dude I must have been tipsy

Flibbert uh huuuuhhh...


Why do I go on there again?

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 04:12 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 46 words, total size 1 kb.

April 04, 2007

Overheard in New York

This is a HUGE pet-peeve of mine and, unfortunately, I work near Times Square, so I encounter it a lot. I'm pleased to see someone doing something about it, but I still think that in order to be effective, one needs an electric cattle prod.

A tourist mom with three teens in tow halts in the middle of the block, causing two suits and several other people to crash into them.

Suit #1: For the love of God, move, you idiots! There are people walking behind you!

Tourist mom: You don't have to be so rude!

Suit #2: He's rude? You clearly see this is a busy sidewalk, and yet you stop dead in the middle and block all traffic!

Tourist mom: He didn't have to say it so rude -- we are not from around here!

Suit #1: And does that somehow excuse your being idiots and stopping in the middle of a busy street?

Tourist mom: At least we are not so rude in Tennessee!

Suit #2: That explains the idiocy, but it still isn't an excuse.

Tourist mom: That was unnecessary!

Suit #1: Perhaps, but it's true.

Suit #2: Here, maybe this is more polite: Welcome to New York. Slow walking idiots prone to stopping for no reason stay to the fucking right of busy sidewalks, and don't get in the way of the non-mentally impaired locals. Now fuck off.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 06:38 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 237 words, total size 1 kb.

March 23, 2007

Overheard at the Office

Tech Guy: So, you can access that server and just add the files.

Flibby: Um. No, I can't.

Tech Guy: Yes, you can.

Flibby: I really don't think I can.

Tech Guy: Have you tried?

Flibby: No.

Tech Guy: Try.

Flibby: How?

Tech Guy: Open this application...

Flibby: You know I don't have an account on that application, right?

Tech Guy: Oh. Well, then you can't do it.

Flibby: I didn't think so.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 03:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 77 words, total size 1 kb.

March 15, 2007

Overheard at the Office

Coworker: You don't want free coffee?

Flibby: I don't drink straight coffee.

[pause]

All my coffee is [waving arms and wiggling in his chair] GAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 04:48 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 21 words, total size 1 kb.

February 13, 2007

From the Mouths of Babes

Mom: So, what kind of animals do you think we will see at the zoo?

Small boy: I think elephants and snakes... Mom? Are there also pretend things there, like dinosaurs and God?

Mom: I think we need to have a talk when we get home.

--N train near Union Square

From Overheard in New York

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 02:20 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 61 words, total size 1 kb.

February 05, 2007

Overheard at the Office

Coworker: Flibby, where are you going?

Flibby: What?

Coworker: Are you going on vacation or something?

Flibby: Um. I'm just going to sit here at my desk. What are you talking about.

Coworker:Your suitcase.

Flibby: Oh! Yeah, I'm moving some stuff out to my apartment in Astoria this evening. I'm going to take a little vacation in sunny Astoria.

Coworker: Oh yeah? That'll be nice. You know, to get away for a bit.

Flibby: Yeah. It'll be relaxing. Take a little break...

Coworker: I heard there are Queens out there.

Flibby: I sure hope so.

ZING!

I'm here all week, folks. Remember to tip your bartenders!

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 05:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 110 words, total size 1 kb.

November 25, 2006

Overheard in a Shoe Store

Ditz: Hi! Do you sell Jewelry?

Shoe salesman: No. This is a shoe store.

Ditz: But you used to?

Shoe salesman: shakes head

Ditz: Just a little bit?

Shoe salesman: shakes head

Ditz: leaving I'M SO CONFUSED!

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 02:55 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Category: Overheard
Post contains 42 words, total size 1 kb.

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