If Not Atheism, Then at Least a Sensible Amount of Blasphemy

Ok.  So, I know that some of the people who come to my blog believe in magic.  I know you do and you know that I do my best to mock you with my very existence.  Nevertheless, harping on it is something that I haven't done in a while, so I feel like it needs to be brought up again.  However, since I know that you're dead-set on being that way, I hope not to persuade you with this post not to full-on atheism, but at least the teensiest bit of really quite sensible sass.

Fact 1: God hates the gays.

Fact 2: Activist Judges in California have forced the hot, wet, throbbing unpleasantness of gay marriage down the throats of good Californians everywhere (in California) and now homos are flocking like so many pink flamingos to the Golden State just to piss off the Almighty.

Fact 3: Hell is raining down on the midwest.

Now, given these facts, some of which are more clear to you than me, can we not all just agree that for an ineffable, omnipotent, mysteriously motivated, and imponderably omnipondering being his aim is really unacceptably bad?

I mean, I blaspheme all the time and I have yet to have lightning strike anywhere near me. (Although, by some people's logic, but not that of any readers of MY blog no matter how faithful because if they were that dumb they wouldn't be here, the mere existence of lightning on this planet is sufficient to have delivered the message.  After all, God is really just aiming at a very small speck in a very large universe.  Hitting planet Earth is pretty remarkable if you think about that and not about electrons.)

But to miss that many gays with a FLOOD in a state with a huge tectonic scar and a vast coastline?  I want to see Jesus ready to go by the dart board in the bar downstairs in five minutes with as much money as he can carry.  I'm about to bank, for reals, yo.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 08:51 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Category: Mythology and Modern Man
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