July 04, 2005

Bible Stories for the Ladies

The body of people who claim to be Christian consists of people a majority of whom largely ignorant of that to which they claim to subscribe.

I don't know if there are any statistics around this, but I have found that Catholics are particularly bad about not knowing what the Bible actually says on a particular topic.

I was raised in the Pentecostal church. I don't know if Pentecostals generally know their Bible verses better than other denominations, but I have found that my novice-level of knowledge on things biblical supercedes that of people who are far more devout about Christianity.

Just to be cute, I thought I would pull up a Bible verse or two for you to consider. These go out to the ladies:

20 - But if this thing [a man's claim that his wife was not a virgin when he married her] be true , [and the tokens of] virginity be not found for the damsel:

21 - Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

Deuteronomy 22:20-21

9 - In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

I Timothy 2:9

19 - And if a woman have an issue, [and] her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.

20 - And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean.

21 - And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe [himself] in water, and be unclean until the even.

[I'll stop with that one because the rules around women and their period goes on a bit.]

Leviticus 15: 19 - 21

7 - For a man indeed ought not to cover [his] head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

8 - For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.

9 - Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

I Corinthians 11: 7 - 9

11 - Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

12 - But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

I Timothy 2: 11 - 12

So, what did we learn today? According to the Bible:


  • If a woman isn't a virgin when she gets married, she should be stoned in front of her dad's house because she's a whore and brings shame to everyone.

  • Women should not braid their hair or wear fancy clothes or jewelry.

  • Women on their period are icky and should be ostracised until they get over it. If you touch a menstruating woman or anything she touches while she's on her period, you're icky, too, for at least a day.

  • Women are here to pleasure please men.

  • SHUT UP, WOMAN! SUBMIT TO MY MANLY AUTHORITY!

There are lots more verses like that. There are ones telling women not to cut their hair. There's one that says if a womay prays without a head covering, then we should shave her head because it's shameful of her. And so on and so forth.

I realize that most of the people who claim to be Christian today do not believe those things. Instead, most modern Christians pick and choose what they want to believe in the Bible. Many of them do it through lots of rationalization and claiming that these verses and others are taken out of context and they no longer apply to modern life.

Faith doesn't work that way, folks, and you should be ashamed for being so uppity that you think you know better than god or the people god is talking to and telling to write books.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 10:59 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Category: Mythology and Modern Man
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