February 01, 2004
I just wanted to tell you right now that Starbucks has White Chocolate again so that you would not be kept up at night wondering how I am able to go on without this luxury. But that's not what I want to talk about.
What I want to talk about is Ugly Jerk-Playa. I just ran into him on the street on my trip for coffee.
You may know someone like him. He is not attractive. He is an ass. And yet he gets lots of girls. They aren't ugly girls either. Well, some of them are.
When I see him with a female, I always want to go up to her and check her vision and hearing. Something is clearly amiss with the miss to get her to crawl up on that dude.
I mean, he's pretentious. He does nothing really well but he still brags about it and patronizes everyone who dare tries the subject. He claims to enjoy Kant, James Joyce, and Faulkner.
Around men he's obnoxious and aggressive. He's the guy who is always punching you in the arm and threatening to beat you up. He's not that big. He's not that strong. He's not that fast. He's just not that good. So, actually taking him up on the offer would likely end in an uncomfortable discussion about why you made him cry in front of his friends.
Everything about this guy is fake from his colored contacts to his fashion, which follows the fad of the college guys which are a decade or so his junior.
I guess he's not FUGLY but he's not a hottie or anything, so his looks can't make up for his crimes of personality. If he were really sweet then average looks would be fine. But he's an ass.
And girls go out with him. I don't get it. LOTS of girls want to go out with him, too. I've been to several parties where girls are all aflutter over him.
One time I had my share of Jim Beam and Coke going and I had to ask a girl with whom I hold some platonic affection about it. "Dude. He's an ass. Why don't you forget about him?" And she did naught but shake her head.
So, I don't get it. It's one of those mysteries of nature that will likely remain beyond my grasp for the rest of my mortal years.
This is a classical conundrum. It won't be solved today, unless the fellow who broke Fermat's Last Theorem abstains from watching the Super Bowl to work on it.
My guess is that it has something to do with body odor.
Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at February 01, 2004 09:05 AM (MzH7h)
Posted by: G. Murry at February 01, 2004 09:48 AM (TRrHF)
Posted by: Bloodthirsty Warmonger at February 01, 2004 10:09 AM (6QPpi)
Posted by: Harvey at February 01, 2004 10:12 AM (ubhj8)
In most cases you will find that not only does Ugly Jerk-Playa have plenty of girlfriends, but plenty of guyfriends as well. Either way, the relationship is sheep and shepherd. The people around Ugly Kerk-Playa abdicate control because it is easy, and Ugly Jerk-Playa assumes control for the benefit of "Yes" friends and (with completely different connotations) "Yes" girlfriends.
It all boils down to the choice to think. Ugly Jerk-Playa, most likely through no effort of his own, realizes that many people will easily give up that choice is someone else declares himself (the psychological) leader. And so he does.
Posted by: Chris at February 01, 2004 10:46 AM (gPeyE)
Posted by: G. Murry at February 01, 2004 01:03 PM (TRrHF)
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