December 17, 2003
It will break. This is a rule. It is a rule for a really good reason: because watching fish tanks break in movies is really, really fun.
When I saw the movie Mission Impossible and Tom Cruise entered a restaurant that was built completely of fish tanks, I knew something super-cool was about to go down.
The people of Denmark should take note of this rule because the fact is that sometimes life imitates art.
It's clearly made by someone in California and I'm not just saying that because they told me.
It's a pretty funny flash movie about the end of the world due to nuclear war. (No really. That can be a funny thing.)
Beware! Along with nuclear bombs, this movie has F!bombs!
Thank you, Bicardi Fiance!
December 16, 2003
I realize it'll probably happen one day, especially if my blog gains any popularity, but still. It kind of gives me the wiggins.
Right now: Posts 305 Comments 279
Whew. I'll rest easier tonight.
I'll be honest, I don't really care about football much. I don't know who the teams are, who the players are, what bowls they play, or anything like that. But I do loathe things that don't make a bit of sense.
You are Kermit the Frog.
You are reliable, responsible and caring. And you
have a habit of waving your arms about
"Hi ho!" "Yaaay!" and "Sheesh!"
"How Green Was My Mother"
LAST BOOK READ:
"Surfin' the Webfoot: A Frog's Guide to the
Sitting in the swamp playing banjo.
"Hmm, my banjo is wet."
brought to you by Quizilla
Can I say that it bugs me a little that the title of the quiz isn't "Which Muppet are you?" instead of "What Muppet are you?"
1. Ayn Rand (100%)I don't know who most of these people are. I do wish that Kant, Sartre, and Hume weren't even in the general vicinity of my results, but what can you do? It's kind of a difficult quiz because of all the philosophy-speak in it, but my results clearly show I did something right.
2. Aristotle (90%)
3. Plato (76%)
4. John Stuart Mill (71%)
5. Aquinas (68%)
6. Epicureans (65%)
7. St. Augustine (65%)
8. Kant (62%)
9. Jeremy Bentham (58%)
10. Spinoza (56%)
11. David Hume (51%)
12. Stoics (51%)
13. Jean-Paul Sartre (47%)
14. Thomas Hobbes (47%)
15. Nietzsche (44%)
16. Prescriptivism (37%)
17. Cynics (34%)
18. Ockham (28%)
19. Nel Noddings (9%)
Smooches, Ayn! Love ya, babe! We'll do lunch!
Found by way of Heather. Thanks, Angel!
But I did get a chance to respond to a few comments. They were an absolute hoot. Thanks, guys!
I'm disappointed that there wasn't a bigger reaction to my frat boy story. It's basically true, you know. I just thought it was the most outrageous thing. Although, Harvey did give up some linky-love to me about it. I just don't know if the folks who read my blog realize that I like comments. Lots and lots of lavish, praise-heavy comments. Along with presents. I really like presents. You have my list. Hop to.
Other updates on personal life: I sent Food Scientist a long email. He hasn't responded. He's not really one for long emails, so that doesn't surprise me so much. But I had hoped for a little something. Oh well. I'll try again in a few months.
The Good Doctor is absolutely dreamy. I keep meaning to tell you all about him because he is super. He's cute and smart and funny. It's a little unnerving how much I really enjoy goofing around with him. Like Sunday, we went to a movie and he almost poked my eye out. Now, if that's not a story for the grandkids, I don't know what is.
I went running yesterday and I went running again today. For someone who has been nothing better than a slacker for about 3 months now, I'm doing fairly well. I ran a 5K yesterday very easily in about 28 minutes. Not great, but not bad either. Half Marathons, here I come!
Also, the news about the capture of Saddam is still great news, by the way. My mom speculated briefly about his trial and punishment tonight saying that if he isn't executed then someone needs to call on the Iraqi version of Jack Ruby. Word from my mother.
Four 18-year-old women at Florida Atlantic University had been studying into the early morning hours when they decided to take some cereal, fruit and other snacks worth about $25 from the University Center Marketplace kitchen, according to a police report.Mm hm. Ok.
The university is making the four students spend 20 hours helping the food service employees as part of their punishment.
"It will be during the 'prime time' of the cafeteria," said Kaitlin Sjostedt, one of those arrested. "It's cruel and unusual punishment."
I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but stealing is a huge pet-peeve of mine; especially the kind that involves taking things that aren't yours.
So, let me get this straight, princess. You're up late at night trying to wrap your brain around some, like, really hard stuff for your finals. You're hungry, so you decide to, not order pizza, not go to the all-night grocer, not visit one of your dorm buddies and raid their fridge, not try a drive-through, but burgle the dining hall. Is that about the sum of it?
And so, the University, rather than expelling your petty thieving bottoms obliges you to work for 20 hours in the dining hall during the busiest shifts. And you think that's cruel and unusual?
First of all, it's not that unusual to have to work off a debt. I'm sure everyone has seen that episode of Leave it to Beaver when Wally has to work to pay off a window he broke while playing baseball.
Second of all, cruel would be cutting off your hands or subject you to public caning, not that we know any civilized places that would do those things. Sweetheart, you don't know the meaning of cruel.
These sort of snot-nosed self-righteous brats make me absolutely sick. They need to face the fact that they STOLE. And not that it really matters, but they did so out of no better motivation than the munchies. They're lucky someone doesn't turn them over their knee.
And the fact that this Ms. Sjostedt has the gall to whine about the relatively easy punishment being handed to her by the University is beyond the pale. Just for that, I would triple her punishment and extend it to assisting the janitorial staff in equal amounts.
Don't like it? Get your whining, punk, cry-baby, stealing selves out of here. And by the way, all of your course credits are null and void.
I swear kids these days act like they ain't got no mamas.
December 15, 2003
1. Your ideal theoretical candidate. (100%)I have no idea why the socialists are so high on my list but it's telling in that they beat out three democrats.
2. Libertarian Candidate (78%)
3. Bush, President George W. - Republican (60%)
4. Phillips, Howard - Constitution (38%)
5. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat (33%)
6. Kerry, Senator John, MA - Democrat (27%)
7. Gephardt, Rep. Dick, MO - Democrat (27%)
8. Lieberman, Senator Joe, CT - Democrat (27%)
9. Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat (27%)
10. Kucinich, Rep. Dennis, OH - Democrat (26%)
11. Edwards, Senator John, NC - Democrat (25%)
12. Socialist Candidate (21%)
13. Green Party Candidate (18%)
14. LaRouche, Lyndon H. Jr. - Democrat (16%)
15. Clark, Retired General Wesley K., AR - Democrat (13%)
16. Moseley-Braun, Former Senator Carol, IL - Democrat (8%)
Johnny Popo is Mama Laverne's baby-daddy. He is, as his assigned moniker indicates, one of the boys in blue in this neck of the woods, so he always has fun stories to tell. Mama Laverne related one such story to me today at lunch.
Allegedly, someone phoned the police to report a burned animal carcass behind a frat house.
When Johnny Popo arrived at the scene he observed the carcass on a small, smoldering pile of leaves and twigs and one vehicle drenched in blood. Johnny Popo concluded that some inquiry was in order. Here is the conversation as I imagine it* according to how the story was relayed to me:
Johnny Popo: Hello, citizens!
Fratly types: Wassap, cop-dude!?!
Johnny Popo: We have received a report of burned animal remains on the premises. Do you know if this is true?
Frat Boy Alpha: Yo, Cop-dude. It's, like, totally gnarly. See?
Johnny Popo: That is indeed quite gnarly, gentle citizen. What pray tell led to this grisly scene?
Frat Boy Beta: Whoa! You talk like that Willie Shake-a-stick dude who wrote all those plays that we read in my English 101 class!
Johnny Popo: Blank stare
Frat Boy Gamma: Shut up, 'tarded dude. You're such a homo.
Frat Boy Beta: You shut up, homo dude!
FBA explains: Like, whoa, cop dude. It was, like, the freakiest thing. See, this coon, like, came out of the woods --
Johnny Popo is slightly incredulous: THAT was a raccoon?
FBB: Panting from wrestling Oh yeah. It was totally wicked, dude!
that the "raccoon" appeared to have had horns,
a three foot tail capped in thick scales, and
weighed approximately 450 pounds.**
FBG: Yeah. It came from the woods and it was acting really weird, dude!
FBA: Oh yeah. Totally Weird! Like, it was listening to Cher and talking about how, like, cargo pants are so 6 years ago and shizzle. I think it looked at me funny. I have a girlfriend. I'm not like that!
FBB: Me, too! I have a girlfriend!
FBG: I think it must have had, like, hydrophoby. You know, what Old Yeller had.
FBB: Dude, Old Yeller is gay. You're such a homo.
FBA: Like, because it was acting weird, we, like, thought we should put it out of its misery, so we, like, hit it in the head with, like, this orange traffic cone that we, like, borrowed from, uh, one of our frat bro's dad's job. Yeah. Like.
FBG: screaming IT WAS TOTALLY GNARLY!!
FBB: also screaming YEAH! DUDE! GNARLY!
but due to the oil they merely glance off to the side.
FBG crashes through a plate glass window and
FBB falls against the carcass.
No one is seriously injured.
Johnny Popo: Blank stare So, hitting it in the head killed it, right?
FBA: Oh yeah. Like totally. Well, like, hitting it several times killed it.
Johnny Popo: Pointing to the bloody truck So, where did all of this blood come from?
FBA: Well, like, we decided that it would be, like, cool and shizzle to have a coon skin for the game room. So, like, we decided to like, skin, it.
FBB: We used the tools I got for my interior design class.
FBB: What? Chicks dig interior design.
FBB: Putting his hands on his hips. F y'all. I have a girlfriend. And what did you expect? I should fail interior design?
FBG: coughing COFF!HOMO!COFF!COFF
FBB: Oh hell no, girlfr-- I mean, Dude. You did all my homework for that class! Don't you deny it!
FBA: Like, anyway. We, like, skinned it.
Johnny Popo: Well, citizen, this is just my opinion, but it looks to me that the "raccoon" exploded at some point in the process. Can you tell me what happened next?
FBA: Well, like, after we skinned it, we, like, figured that we couldn't just leave the body, like, in the yard. That's, like, a total desecration of the Holy Fraternal Territories!
FBG: Desecration, yo. That's totally bad.
FBB: Plus, we didn't want to leave the stinky remains in the dumpster to attract other icky animals.
Johnny Popo: Right. So, that's when you decided to burn it?
FBA: Correctamundo, cop-dude.
Johnny Popo: On this very small fire?
FBB: Well, my dad's a fireman and he taught me that you can't have big fires in the city unless you get a permit, so we kept it small to avoid getting in trouble with the law.
Johnny Popo: Good thinking. So, let me see if I understand the situation: You found a raccoon and it was behaving strangely. You suspected rabies, so you killed it by hitting it with a traffic cone. Then, you skinned it and to dispose of the carcass you attempted to burn it. Is that correct?
FBA: Right on, cop-dude.
Johnny Popo: Tell me, how many of you came in contact with the animal or parts of this animal?
FBG lies on the ground spread eagle with this fingers and
toes splayed to help them count.
FBA: Like, cop dude? I think there were, like, 20 or so of us. Is that, like, bad?
Johnny Popo: Well, rabies is transmitted by saliva and blood. And since you burned the carcass, we can't test the brains to see if it really was rabies. All 20 of you may have to be quarantined. We'll have to see what the animal control people say.
Johnny Popo: It's totally bad, dudes.
FBA: Whoa. Like.
FBA: Like, cop-dude? What if someone, like, ate some of it?
Johnny Popo: Did someone eat some of it?
FBB: We just figured it would be ok since it's cooked.
Johnny Popo: Part of the carcass is still bloody. I can see it.
Johnny Popo: A little exasperated How many of you ate it?
FBA: Chill, cop-dude. Just one.
Johnny Popo: Where is he?
FBB: Upstairs sleeping.
Johnny Popo: You'd better go get him.
* This means that some of the facts have been changed for fun.
** This is one such "fact."
In reality, the story as it was relayed to me went like this: Frat boys found a raccoon that was acting "odd." Thinking it had rabies; they killed the animal with a traffic cone and skinned it leaving a bloody mess. Then, they attempted to burn it on a rather small fire of leaves and twigs from the yard. One of them even ate a part of it and initial estimates were that about 20 of them came in contact with the animal or the remains. They will all need a full series of rabies treatments, which as you may know, involve a series of injections to the stomach.
Behold the future leaders of America.
I love babies 1) because sometimes they're just so gosh-darn cute and 2) because they're just so gosh-darn inspirational. (Inspiration, like most things in life, requires a little bit of perspective on the context, because based on the context of survival skills or business savvy, babies are actually really stupid.)
Doubt me? Well, peep this poetic bit of prosey goodness! A sample:
Watching her is like watching human potential living up to itself. Yesterday I saw my own struggle to become a better mother (daughter, partner, lover, writer, sister, gardener, cook, friend, knitter, reader) perfectly modeled by the momentum occurring on the blanket in front of me. Each step started with a building of this energy, her desire fueling her body and her eyes flashing with the light of a thousand suns. Hands down like this. Head up like this. Toes pointed like this. Leg over like this. Do it again like this. She's bursting with the future and it's moving through her now, carrying her forward from this moment. To this moment. To this moment. Here. Now.I found it by way of Fluid Pudding who is also quite funny. Be sure to read about the Pudding Pregnancy. Check it:
As the next few hours passed, the nurse noticed that my contractions were getting stronger and closer together.And since we're on the topic, this is another funny lady, mommy blog I recently looked at:
Nurse: Holy! This is a big one!
Me: [explitive]! Totally!
Nurse: They’re coming in at three minutes. I better call your doctor…
The nurse left the room. I looked at the clock. 11:30pm. These contractions were really kicking me. And how!
Nurse (returning to the room): Well, it looks like you’re going to have your baby tonight!
Nurse: Because of your contractions, your doctor rescheduled your procedure for 1:30 in the morning.
Me: That’s only two hours away!
Nurse: Yeah. We could have done it now, but we needed to wait at least six hours past your last meal.
Jeff: You HAD to have White Castles, didn’t you?
Busy Boy was doing grammar homework and the worksheet was about quotations. Apparently, the sentence was about a boy who was getting his school picture taken and his new shirt.Thank you to Mama Laverne for sharing her regular reads with me. Quality!
As he was quietly reading to himself, he suddenly (remember, this is the child who we are not ever sure what he is paying attention to) exclaims with great emphasis and dramatic bodily expression, "Oh no!".
Busy Dad turns around and says, "What is it?"
Busy Boy: (in mock agony, falling to the floor) "Timmy is getting his school picture taken and...he... he...(dramatic pause) forgot to wear his new shirt!"
One might think that it would now be appropriate to call off the hounds. I, being the meanie I am, would still hasten to point out that he didn't have the good sense to know not to do that in the first place. My sensibilities have still been offended and it would actually be an injustice to desist in deriding him for it.
And I wasn't able to find the apology on his site anywhere.
I’ve heard that Hawking and Einstein both were theists, although there are those who would debate that issue.
But one of the more common arguments among the educated elite is that of the “orderly universe.” I myself may be quoted as saying, “Order is the mark of Consciousness” and I think the point bears some clarification.
The universe on the whole is not really ordered in a certain sense.
Certainly there are rules that govern the behavior of particles and masses and energy fields and all of that. And there are organisms great and small, animate and inanimate all over our planet and possibly other planets as well.
When Ayn Rand was confronted with the question of the orderly universe by Donahue, if I recall correctly, she said something like, “What exactly would a disorderly universe look like?”
Her response points to the truth of the matter here. All of the existents within this set of all existents called the universe do have their own identity. Simply, each thing is what it is and each stands differentiated from all others even those which are identical.
It is from the law of identity that the universe gets its "order." One particular hydrogen atom is particular unto itself among all other hydrogen atoms. Together they undergo fusion into helium and stars blaze. There aren’t any stars composed otherwise out there by virtue of how and what hydrogen and helium are.
The law of identity is best stated simply by the expression “A is A.” Without it, the expression would be “A is whatever.” In such a universe hydrogen and helium would be indistinguishable. That wouldn’t matter, of course, because if existents aren’t distinguishable from one another then you can’t really claim that it’s not all in your head and still further and closer to the point, you wouldn’t have a head to speak of.
The universe without the law of identity would be a completely homogenous mush of both existents and non-existents. Quite simply, without the law of identity there is no such thing as existence. Nothing is Something. Anything is Everything. Everything is Naught.
So, in that “order” simply describes predictability, the universe is a well-oiled machine thanks to the law of identity, the nature of which is attempted to be described by physics.
But if by ordered one means that the pattern is directed toward some end or purpose, which I do in the title of this post, the universe is not.
Thank you to The Good Doctor for the illuminating conversation over burrito salads last night!
As I understand it, Saddam is being held in some secret and undisclosed location that is not Camp David and he's being irritating. At present his tactic for irritating me is not to gas a bazillion people, invade another country, and defy good sense by manufacturing chemical, biological, and nuclear weapons. No, Saddam's Irritant Alert has been downgraded to "paisley." He's just not telling us what all we want to know.
His resistence, in my mind, is akin to running from the police, that is to say, incredibly stupid and pointless because things at this juncture simply cannot end well for him.
This morning as I listened to the continued reports about his capture (What's up with the Hussein family and their new men's underwear fetish?) I couldn't help but think that Saddam is in his cell right now taking no small amount of satisfaction that the entire world is talking about how he was captured.
He's like one of Faulkner’s psychologically malformed matriarchs. Then I was struck by a little sadness because his sons aren’t around anymore to drill holes in his face.
December 14, 2003
But I wanted to share this with you:
You are a Sovereign-class Explorer, Starfleet's
biggest, badest, playboy posterchild. You
exceed everyone's expectations in every
department. You're the best, and you know it.
So, what if I don't have a show about my crew? It only makes sense. I mean, how many episodes can you make about, "I'm so pretty! I'm so pretty!" and "What was that? Never mind, I crush you now."
Plot needs an element of true suspense. Some conflict that people really believe MIGHT end in defeat just so the heroes can turn it into victory at the last minute. Pulling in a victory at the first minute just isn't good TeeVee.
Found at Snooze Button Dreams
Update: Shows what I know about this. There IS a TV show (or at least a movie) about my ship! Who knows what we do without geeks! Bless 'm.
Several people have expressed various degrees of support or sympathy or just given their honest opinions on this matter. I appreciate them all for what they are. To me, the situation is only a matter of fact anymore and the facts do extend beyond what I condensed into that post. If I had to name any emotions regarding the situation I would probably say I’m a bit wistful and hopeful.
I’m actually fairly hopeful about most everything, I think.
Which leads me to say that although my relationship with Food Scientist did end. I’m not a person who thinks that relationships are permanent. Love is conditional. That goes for all degrees of love from casual affection to deep romantic adoration.
If your spouse turns into a psychopath and aims to start a collection of eyelids starting with yours, it would be improper to rely upon the transformational powers of love to assist you. That’s an extreme example to illustrate the point that love is based upon values. As long as your friend or lover continues to embody those things that you hold most dear in a human being, you love them. Otherwise, it’s called off.
It can happen at any time. And people do change.
When I ended my friendship with Food Scientist, I earnestly believed that he did not any longer embody those values that were requisite for the office of my best friend, and this was illustrated by the incident at dinner that night.
Today, I recall the closeness of that friendship and I remember all the things I really enjoyed about sharing the counsel and affection of Food Scientist. So, what I would have is his friendship once more, although admittedly we cannot be as close.
Harvey makes the good point that
There are certain lines that should never be crossed because they do irreparable damage. When you actually come out and say, in so many words, "I want our relationship to end" or "I want a divorce", that's not something you can talk your way out of later.Whether or not you call it damage or not, or whether or not you think it should never ever be said, it must be acknowledged that it is most certainly an irreversible change.
I can’t say that I want Food Scientist as my best friend again. I don’t even know how he has changed since we last spoke. I would be a complete boob to expect that he would just leap at the chance to be best friends with me again.
Instead, I know that Food Scientist is still mostly the same and I want to re-start our relationship at this new place. Where it will go no one knows. It’s entirely dependent upon who we’ve become in the meantime and our lives. (We live a bazillion miles away now, remember?) It also depends upon us both wanting to do just that.
Like I said, I don’t think relationships are necessarily permanent. The same is true for ended relationships. The reason I wrote that post and this one is to clarify and elucidate my thoughts and intentions on this matter. They’re here for my readers to consider within the context of their own lives and for Food Scientist and me to consider as they apply directly and explicitly to our lives.
December 13, 2003
Apparently, Gayla Peevey is proof that god doesn't hate me after all.
I didn't do anything that I can think of that would cause all of this. I think god hates me. (Now, is that self-loathing or just a lack of self-esteem? hmm...)
Speaking of god hate, I may have an explanation. Maybe god realized that killing kittens just isn't a very convincing threat to me. This always cracks me up:
What ARE those little monsters chasing that kitten anyway? And the one in the corner is so cute and sad.
Wait. I should have preceeded this with an adult humor warning. My bad.
And also what's up with all the masturbation on my site lately? It's like the Great Gay Rashes of Septemeber, October, November, and December all over again. (Wait. That sounds serious. Salve?) Maybe it's radiation from the Champagne Room.
In other news, Jennifer over at Jennifer's History and Stuff is accepting questions for my interview. I am totally stoked about this because I've never been interviewed and I love to talk about myself. I think that I should be someone in the public eye because I wish people would ask me to talk all day long. Call it "self-centered," you're darn right, but I'd rather you just ask me.
Anything! Just ask me whatever you want to know! (The car question isn't very interesting, but I'll answer it if you ask it.)
Thank you, Suzie da Uzi!
It is nice to hear from you. For the most part, things are going really well here in Kansas. On Tuesday we had our first snow storm of the year. We received about 5 inches already and there is a chance that it might snow again on Friday and Saturday.
I love the snow, however I was a little disappointed that my company still wanted me to come to work. I tried explaining that the most snow I have ever encountered was 2 inches and in GA we called that the blizzard of '93.
I am still learning how to drive on snow and I have decided that I need to enroll in some kind of class in order to understand how to properly shovel the snow off my driveway. Like me, you probably saw people shoveling snow on TV and thought "that looks like fun....I could do that!" However, I have learned the hard way that TV glorifies the act of shoveling.
After two hours, I managed to only clear 1/3 of my drive way before my "brand new very expensive snow shovel from Lowe's" broke. From this experience, I have decided that it is best to pay the neighbor kid 5 dollars and nurse my pride.
First, it was just tiresome to update my blog.
Next, it was very nearly impossible. Though, being very patient, I was able to work around the problem with my update-comment-post process.
THEN, my email went down. (It's back up, by the way.)
I was at a complete loss. Harvey suggested I talk to Kevin at Wizbang because he's a guru. Indeed, he is a guru. He's working on getting my site back up and running now.
I really can't say enough. Kevin and I don't know each other very well but he jumped in like a champ and has been working hard to get my site back into functioning condition and I really appreciate it.
I will be personally sending him extra positive Merry Christmas energies this holiday season (read: $$$) and I recommend at the very least that you all go lend him some traffic. If Kevin needs someone to have his babies, I will do what I can to accomodate him. THAT'S how grateful I am.
So, lots of gratitude to Kevin for working on this for me.
December 12, 2003
MULTAN, Pakistan -- A judge has ruled that a Pakistani man convicted of attacking his 17-year-old fiancee with acid be blinded with acid himself, police said Friday.Now, you just think about that before you go and throw acid on someone in Pakistan.
Mohammed Sajid, 19, poured acid on the face of his fiancee Rabia Bibi on June 24 in Bahawalpur, a city in the eastern Pakistani province of Punjab.
Link courtesy of Precious
Although there isn't any nudity or anything in it, I would put this in the "not work safe" category.
Special thanks to the Good Doctor
I think I have found a new good food to me! YAY!
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