August 19, 2005

Male Roommate's Joke of the Day

Male Roommate likes to tell jokes. Every single day at dinner he lays at least two or three jokes on us. I figure it would be a waste not to share these with the world.

I should warn you, though, not all of these jokes he tells are funny.

The couples who had not been to church in a while came to the pastor and asked to be allowed back into the congregation. The pastor thought about it and said, "You guys have been backsliding for years. I really don't think I can just let you back in to the fold without some test of your commitment to faith. So, I would like you to abstain from sex for the next 30 days."

Thirty days pass and the couples return to meet with the pastor.

"So, how did you guys do?" the pastor asks the first couple.

"It was fine. We abstained for the whole 30 days."

"How did you do it?" he asked with some incredulity.

"Well, you see, we live in a small one room apartment," the husband said, "So, I invited the mother-in-law over to stay with us for the month. Since she was sleeping on the couch not six feet away, we had to behave."

"That's very clever! I will let you rejoin the congregation," said the pastor. "So, couple number 2, how did you guys do?"

"It was difficult but we abstained for the whole 30 days."

"So, how did you manage it?"

"Well," said the wife, "I travel for about two weeks out of every month for my job. This month, I just stayed on the road for the full 30 days."

"Oh! Well, I'm sure you missed each other dearly. Welcome back to the flock," smiled the kindly preacher-man. "Well, were you also able to abstain for the full month?"

"Well, pastor, I'll be honest, we only made it for about 25 days or so. The misses dropped a can of peas and when she bent to pick it up, I just couldn't contain my excitement."

"Oh. That is a shame. I'm sorry I can't invite you back into the church," frowned the pastor.

"That's ok. We're not allowed back at Kroger, either."

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August 10, 2005

Like That One N*Sync Song, The Kitties are Gone

Some have requested an update on the kitty situation.

I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that they are gone and I don't believe they will come back.

Thanks for everyone who has passed on ideas for luring them back.

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August 01, 2005

Doug & Squish: Missing

So, I was cleaning up my house for a roommate interview on Saturday and as I hobbled out to the patio, the kitties went, too. I tried to catch them, but they are scared of my crutches -- either that or they sadistically like to taunt crippled people. (That is a real possibility.)

I didn't think much of it because animals, being animals, usually just come back home.

Well, I haven't seen them since.

I'm a bit worried because there is a busy highway not too far from my house and I do live in the boonies where there are wild creatures.


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