So, after cleaning the Augean Stables for the American Cancer Society last year, I've gotten it in my head that I don't care much for charity-- especially in light of the deductions Uncle Sam grifts from my paycheck every two weeks.

I really thought all that time would amount to nothing worth much at all, but I was wrong because lately one unforeseen benefit has been paying off: Junk Mail.

Not just any kind of junk mail but junk mail from charities. MWAH HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!! See, those rat-bastards at ACS or maybe LLS (the charity from the year before last) gave my address out to all of their tender-hearted friends, so now they send me mail.

The benefit is, however, that they include these little address labels and I get to keep them all and use them for whatever I want! (I'll get down with online billpay one day soon.) Can you believe this? And I never ever intend to use them to send a donation! SCORE!

These stupid charities actually spend money to have labels made with my name and address on them and then they send them to ME to use. I'll bet they're thinking, "Oh no one would actually keep the labels and not give a donation." Ha HA! I WILL! They think, "Most people are driven by Christian decency and would be too wrought with guilt to keep what we give them without giving something back." La la la! I'm Objectivist. Not me! I don't do guilt. La la la! You got nothin' on me, pinko, pan-handling swine!

So, I'm not doing the charity thing these days, but I sure am loving all these free address labels. Of course, someone sent me ones with the American Flag on them and seeing as how THE AMERICAN FLAG IS NOT A DECORATION FOR AN ADDRESS LABLE, I had to cut that off of there. That was a pain. Idgits. But I got more labels now than I think I will ever use. WOOHOO!

I'm EVIL! EEEEEEEEVIL!!!! MWA HA HA HAAAAA!!!

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at 04:16 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Category: About Flibby (old)
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